100 Kermit The Frog Jokes

Get ready to hop into a world of laughter and ribbiting humor as we delve into the fascinating anecdotes and jokes surrounding the iconic green amphibian, Kermit the Frog. Known for his wit, charm, and undeniable talent for delivering puns, Kermit has captured the hearts of millions across the globe.

From his adventures in the Muppet Show to his escapades with Miss Piggy, Kermit never fails to leave his audience in stitches. So, join us as we explore the hilarious and pun-filled world of Kermit jokes that will have you croaking with laughter.

Top 100 Kermit Jokes:

1. Why did Kermit take the job at the bakery? Because he kneaded the dough.
2. Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy? He said it was her or the swill.
3. Why doesn’t Kermit like rain? Because it’s not easy being wet.
4. What’s Kermit’s favorite exercise? Frog-jumps.
5. What does Kermit do when his lily pad gets dirty? He calls the pad maid.
6. Why is Kermit a great comedian? He always leaves the audience “ribbiting” with laughter.
7. What’s Kermit’s favorite vegetable? Leaps and bounds.
8. Why did Kermit get a time-out? Because he was a tad “polly” wogged.
9. Why did Kermit bring a ladder to the bar? Because drinks are on the house.
10. Why doesn’t Kermit use an umbrella? Because he prefers the rain frogging down on him.
11. How does Kermit prepare his coffee? With a French croak.
12. Why did Kermit become a gardener? He wanted to grow hop plants.
13. Why doesn’t Kermit ever get lost? Because he always follows the frog prints.
14. Why was Kermit voted most likely to succeed in school? Because he was head of his “croak.”
15. Why did Kermit visit the psychologist? He couldn’t handle being green.
16. How does Kermit like his eggs? Frog-side up.
17. What kind of car does Kermit drive? A Lily Cadillac.
18. Why was Kermit kicked out of the library? He wouldn’t stop croaking about his favorite books.
19. What’s Kermit’s favorite Shakespeare play? “Toadstool and Cressida.”
20. Why did Kermit make a great detective? Because he always jumps to conclusions.
21. What’s Kermit’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop.
22. What’s Kermit’s favorite dance move? The hop and lock.
23. How does Kermit cheer up his friends? With a ribbiting story.
24. What does Kermit wear to the beach? Flip-frogs.

25. Why is Kermit always calm? He always keeps his cool under frog pressure.
26. Why did Kermit go to Paris? He wanted to see the Frog’s Eiffel Tower.
27. Why did Kermit go to art school? To learn how to draw flies.
28. Why does Kermit love baseball? He’s always hopping for a home run.
29. Why did Kermit cross the road? Because he’s got that frog stride.
30. Why did Kermit join the choir? Because he loves to sing in frog harmony.
31. What’s Kermit’s favorite dessert? Froggy pudding.
32. How does Kermit ask Miss Piggy on a date? “Do you want to hop out tonight?”
33. Why did Kermit get promoted? Because he’s the head frog in charge.
34. Why did Kermit become a banker? To keep his green safe.
35. Why does Kermit love picnics? Because he’s always ready to hop on the food.
36. Why did Kermit go to the casino? To play craps… and the lily pads.
37. Why did Kermit get an award? Because he’s an outstanding amphibian.
38. Why did Kermit join the gym? To work on his frog legs.
39. Why does Kermit love hiking? He loves the mountain hops.
40. How does Kermit take his tea? Green, like him.
41. What’s Kermit’s favorite book? “Great Expectoadtions.”
42. Why did Kermit get a job at the post office? He’s excellent at leaping to deliver.
43. Why does Kermit love swimming? Because it’s the perfect way to get his feet wet.
44. Why did Kermit get a smartphone? To text hopful messages.
45. How does Kermit like his steak? Leap-frog rare.
46. Why is Kermit a great driver? Because he always stays in his frog lane.
47. Why did Kermit refuse to play hide and seek? He said it’s not easy being seen.
48. What’s Kermit’s favorite drink? Hoppy Hour Ale.
49. Why did Kermit start a band? Because he’s got the frog beat.
50. Why does Kermit go to school? To improve his frog-nostications.
51. How does Kermit send his mail? Via air frog mail.

52. Why did Kermit start a blog? To share his life in the frog lane.
53. Why is Kermit always late? Because time’s fun when you’re having flies.
54. What did Kermit say at the end of the play? “It’s not easy being scene.”
55. What’s Kermit’s favorite instrument? The frog horn.
56. Why did Kermit visit the Frog Prince? To ask for some “croak-crowned” advice.
57. What does Kermit call a messy situation? A frog’s nest.
58. Why did Kermit become a teacher? Because he believes in the power of frog-knowledge.
59. Why did Kermit go to the spa? For a hoppy ending massage.
60. Why did Kermit become a firefighter? Because he’s good under frog pressure.
61. What does Kermit like to do on a rainy day? Puddle jump.
62. What’s Kermit’s favorite yoga pose? The Frog pose.
63. What does Kermit use to style his hair? Frog mousse.
64. Why did Kermit refuse the job at the shoe factory? It didn’t feel like the right “fit.”
65. How does Kermit handle stressful situations? He just hops through them.
66. Why did Kermit go to the circus? To see the acro-bats.
67. What’s Kermit’s favorite movie? “The Frogfather.”
68. Why does Kermit love Christmas? Because of the mistle-toad.
69. Why did Kermit start a podcast? To make a big splash.
70. Why did Kermit go to the opera? To hear the high C’s.
71. Why did Kermit become a chef? Because he loves to stir the pot.
72. How does Kermit solve a mystery? By leaping to conclusions.
73. Why did Kermit refuse to play chess? He felt too much pressure to make the right moves.
74. What does Kermit use to fix his house? A ribbit gun.
75. Why does Kermit love Spring? Because it’s the perfect time to jump into action.
76. What’s Kermit’s favorite game? Hopscotch.

77. Why did Kermit become a pilot? He wanted to fly to new heights.
78. What’s Kermit’s favorite flower? Lily pad.
79. Why did Kermit visit the dentist? To get his frog-nal check-up.
80. Why did Kermit start a business? To make a pond of money.
81. Why does Kermit love Halloween? He gets to be a Boogey-frog.
82. Why did Kermit go to the moon? To leap over the moon.
83. How does Kermit get to work? He hops on his bike.
84. Why did Kermit take up boxing? To pack a punch.
85. Why did Kermit go to a meditation retreat? He needed some peace and croak.
86. How does Kermit maintain his weight? He keeps a balanced diet of flies and exercise.
87. What does Kermit use to write his jokes? His sharp-wit pen.
88. Why did Kermit start a YouTube channel? To make a leap into fame.
89. How does Kermit greet his friends? “Hoppy to see you!”
90. Why did Kermit go to the zoo? To ribbit with the other animals.
91. What does Kermit say when he’s surprised? “Well, frog me!”
92. How does Kermit measure success? In leaps and bounds.
93. Why did Kermit become a fashion designer? To make a splash in the industry.
94. What’s Kermit’s favorite day of the week? Leap Day.
95. Why did Kermit go to the doctor? He had a frog in his throat.
96. Why does Kermit love jazz music? Because it’s ribbiting.
97. How does Kermit say goodbye? “Hop to see you soon!”
98. What’s Kermit’s secret talent? He’s a leap-reader.
99. Why did Kermit go to the winery? To try the new hoppy wine.
100. What’s Kermit’s life motto? “Eat, sleep, hop, repeat.”

Conclusion

Kermit the Frog, with his boundless energy and quick wit, has proven time and time again that comedy knows no bounds. From his ventures in the bakery to his love for frog-themed puns, Kermit’s sense of humor is as infectious as it is enduring. Whether it’s his love for hoppy desserts, his fondness for rain showers, or his constant pursuit of a punchline, Kermit’s jokes have become an integral part of his charming personality.

So, the next time you find yourself needing a good laugh, remember Kermit’s timeless jokes and let his amphibious humor brighten your day. After all, as Kermit would say, “It’s not easy being green, but it sure is fun being funny!”