79 ham radio jokes

  1. Why don’t ham radio operators play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when your antenna is up!
  2. How do you catch a squirrel, ham radio operator style? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  3. What’s a ham’s favorite type of bread? Frequen-rye!
  4. Why did the ham radio operator break up with his girlfriend? She had too much static!
  5. Why was the ham radio operator bad at fishing? He kept talking on the radio and scared the fish away!
  6. How many hams does it take to change a light bulb? None, they’ll just debate for hours on which bulb gives better illumination!
  7. What’s a ham’s favorite type of music? Wavelength tunes!
  8. What do you call a nervous ham radio operator? A “shaky frequency”!
  9. Why don’t hams use bookmarks? Because the frequency is the best marker!
  10. Why was the ham operator always cold? Because he left his Windows open!
  11. How does a ham radio operator cut his pizza? With a razor-sharp wavelength!
  12. Why did the ham operator bring a ladder to the party? To reach the high frequency!
  13. Why do ham radio operators make bad secret agents? Because they can’t help but broadcast their location!
  14. What’s a ham radio operator’s favorite type of math? Logarithms, it’s all about the logbook!
  15. What do you call a talkative ham radio operator? A jabber-wocky!
  16. Why are most ham radio operators good at golf? They’re used to dealing with long drives and short waves!
  17. Why do hams make terrible chefs? They keep trying to tune the oven!
  18. Why was the ham radio operator standing on a chair? He was trying to reach the HF!
  19. How do you know a ham radio operator is at your party? Your Wi-Fi suddenly improves!
  20. Why don’t ham radio operators like soda? Too much fizz in the signal!
  21. Why did the ham radio operator go to jail? He was caught broadcasting secrets!
  22. What’s a ham radio operator’s favorite dance? The wavelength waltz!
  23. Why did the ham radio operator carry an umbrella? For rainy day communications!
  24. Why do ham radio operators never lose at poker? They always have a good hand(le)!
  25. What’s a ham radio operator’s favorite movie? “Frequency”!
  26. What did the ham say to his morning coffee? You’re my only filter today!
  27. Why don’t hams work in sales? Too many cold calls!
  28. Why was the ham operator a great detective? He could pick up on the faintest signals!
  29. What do hams give their wives on Valentine’s Day? A bouquet of antennas!
  30. Why don’t hams make good firemen? They get distracted by the radio!
  31. How does a ham operator tie his shoes? With a slip knot, just like his antenna!
  32. Why did the ham operator go to the doctor? He had a severe case of the “beeps”!
  33. Why are hams like magicians? They can both pull signals out of thin air!
  34. What’s a ham operator’s favorite vegetable? Radi-o-cchio!
  35. Why do hams never get lost? They’re always on the right frequency!
  36. What do you call a ham operator with no radio? A mute point!
  37. Why was the ham operator always fit? Because he worked out his signals!
  38. Why did the ham operator sit on his radio? He wanted to crack the code!
  39. What do you call a clumsy ham? A “stumble upon frequency”!
  40. Why do ham radio operators hate fast food? Too much static on the line!
  41. Why did the ham operator go to school? To get a higher degree of frequency!
  42. Why did the ham operator never argue with his wife? He knew she had the final modulation!
  43. What’s a ham operator’s favorite drink? Frequency Fizz!
  44. Why do hams make great detectives? They’re always tuned into the latest buzz!
  45. How does a ham radio operator leave his house? He just waves!
  46. Why did the ham operator get a job at the bakery? He kneaded the dough to upgrade his rig!
  47. What’s a ham operator’s favorite type of coat? A repeater jacket!
  48. What do you call a ham operator in the gym? A ‘Flexing Frequency’!
  49. Why are hams like farmers? They both work with ground planes!
  50. What do you call a ham radio operator who can play the guitar? A “Bandwidth Bandit”!
  51. Why do hams make terrible police officers? They broadcast their every move!
  52. Why was the ham operator always sad? He couldn’t decode his own emotions!
  53. How does a ham operator say goodbye? “73!”
  54. Why was the ham operator’s garden so beautiful? He had a green thumb for growing antennas!
  55. What did the antenna say to the ham radio operator? I feel a strong connection!
  56. What do you call a ham radio operator on a trampoline? A bounce rate!
  57. Why was the ham operator a great dancer? He had excellent balance in all frequencies!
  58. What do you call a radio operator who enjoys bird watching? A “HAM-aviary enthusiast”!
  59. Why do hams have the cleanest houses? They are experts at eliminating noise and interference!
  60. What do hams use to eat their soup? Antenna spoons!
  61. How do ham radio operators fix a leak? With duct tape and spare coax!
  62. What’s a ham radio operator’s favorite candy? Repeater-ment!
  63. Why was the ham radio operator always second in races? He loved trailing tones!
  64. How does a ham operator make pancakes? With plenty of gain!
  65. Why did the ham operator go to art school? He wanted to master fine tuning!
  66. Why don’t hams ever starve? They always have beans for QSO!
  67. Why was the ham operator bad at basketball? He couldn’t shoot or rebound, but he was great on the air!
  68. What’s a ham operator’s favorite salad? A mix of ham, beans, and a dash of RF!
  69. Why do hams hate hide and seek? They always send out signals!
  70. Why do ham radio operators enjoy rainy days? More time indoors for DXing!
  71. What do ham radio operators use to stay clean? RF-resh soap!
  72. What’s a ham’s favorite type of car? One with lots of band widths!
  73. How do ham radio operators make their tea? With a well-tuned kettle!
  74. Why don’t hams like playing chess? They always lose the knight (band)!
  75. Why did the ham radio operator buy an island? He wanted to be a DXpedition!
  76. Why was the ham operator bad at gardening? He kept planting antennas!
  77. What’s a ham radio operator’s favorite spice? Radioactive rosemary!
  78. What’s a ham radio operator’s favorite game? Hide and frequency seek!
  79. How did the ham radio operator find his way home? He followed the tower!

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