78 grim reaper jokes
- Why doesn’t the Grim Reaper ever win at poker? Because everyone has a dead man’s hand.
- What do you call the Grim Reaper when he takes a day off? The Grin Reaper.
- Why did the Grim Reaper start a bakery? Because he kneaded a new job.
- What’s the Grim Reaper’s favorite type of music? Soul.
- Why does the Grim Reaper hate calendars? They remind him of his deadlines.
- Why does the Grim Reaper never participate in races? Because he always comes last.
- What’s the Grim Reaper’s favorite board game? Clue, because he always has a scythe.
- Why did the Grim Reaper break up with his girlfriend? He felt they had no life together.
- How does the Grim Reaper cut his grass? With a scythe-mower.
- Why doesn’t the Grim Reaper use a cell phone? He prefers direct scythe.
- Why did the Grim Reaper go to the party? To liven things up.
- Why did the Grim Reaper go to school? To improve his “Deathematics”.
- What do you call the Grim Reaper in a snowstorm? Frosted Flakes.
- What did the Grim Reaper say when he saw a road sign? “Dead End? Perfect.”
- Why did the Grim Reaper bring a ladder to the party? He heard he had to take things to another level.
- Why did the Grim Reaper start a landscaping business? He’s always had a knack for trimmin’ lives.
- What’s the Grim Reaper’s least favorite food? Lifesavers.
- Why did the Grim Reaper become a gardener? He wanted to touch up his plant-killing skills.
- What does the Grim Reaper use to keep his robes wrinkle-free? Starch of death.
- Why did the Grim Reaper join the orchestra? Because he loves playing the death cymbals.
- Why did the Grim Reaper become a referee? He loved calling the final whistle.
- What’s the Grim Reaper’s favorite clothing store? Forever 21 and done.
- What does the Grim Reaper drink at the bar? Spirits.
- Why is the Grim Reaper never invited to picnics? Because he always brings his own buns…bun-burying, that is.
- What does the Grim Reaper call his boat? The Scythe-sea.
- What’s the Grim Reaper’s favorite instrument? The death drum.
- Why doesn’t the Grim Reaper ever get lost? He always finds a body to follow.
- What kind of jokes does the Grim Reaper hate? Life-affirming ones.
- How does the Grim Reaper flirt? He says, “Are you a ghost? Because my heart stops when I see you.”
- Why doesn’t the Grim Reaper get tired? He’s already dead beat.
- What’s the Grim Reaper’s favorite type of pet? A deadruff.
- Why did the Grim Reaper go to the grocery store? To buy some soul food.
- How does the Grim Reaper like his coffee? With cremains and sugar.
- Why did the Grim Reaper take up golf? He heard it was a good way to score in the low 70s.
- Why does the Grim Reaper never win at hide and seek? Everyone can see him coming.
- Why does the Grim Reaper love winter? He loves when the temperature falls below zero.
- Why does the Grim Reaper love Halloween? Because he fits right in.
- What does the Grim Reaper read in his spare time? Obituaries.
- Why did the Grim Reaper go to the music concert? He heard they were playing death metal.
- Why is the Grim Reaper never late? He’s always on a deadline.
- Why is the Grim Reaper bad at chess? He can’t tell the difference between the king and a pawn.
- Why does the Grim Reaper never catch a cold? He scares away the germs.
- Why doesn’t the Grim Reaper ever have any free time? He’s always working himself to the bone.
- Why did the Grim Reaper start a band? He’s got an ear for the death tones.
- How does the Grim Reaper write his letters? In dead penmanship.
- Why did the Grim Reaper join the circus? He loves the dead-defying acts.
- Why did the Grim Reaper buy a rooster? He wanted a death-crowing alarm.
- What’s the Grim Reaper’s favorite dessert? Death-by-chocolate.
- What does the Grim Reaper do when he’s tired of walking? He takes the hearse.
- What’s the Grim Reaper’s favorite drink? Deathpresso.
- Why did the Grim Reaper open a funeral home? He’s got a great sense of bereave-ment.
- Why does the Grim Reaper love baseball? He loves the sound of a home-run.
- What’s the Grim Reaper’s favorite dance? The ghost-step.
- Why did the Grim Reaper get a job at the morgue? He’s great at dead-ication.
- Why did the Grim Reaper take a vacation? He wanted some time to kill.
- What’s the Grim Reaper’s favorite beach activity? Playing dead man’s float.
- Why did the Grim Reaper become a weightlifter? He loves dead-lifting.
- Why does the Grim Reaper always bring a map? He never wants to be caught lifeless.
- Why is the Grim Reaper a terrible cook? He burns everything to ash.
- What does the Grim Reaper bring to a potluck? Coffin-ee cake.
- Why did the Grim Reaper start a metal band? He wanted to play some heavy death music.
- Why does the Grim Reaper always carry a scythe? It’s a cutting-edge technology.
- What’s the Grim Reaper’s favorite mode of transport? The Soul Train.
- Why doesn’t the Grim Reaper like comedians? They always crack life jokes.
- What does the Grim Reaper say when he arrives at a party? “I’m here for a good time, not a long time.”
- Why did the Grim Reaper start a watch company? He’s always keeping time.
- Why doesn’t the Grim Reaper use elevators? He prefers the stairway to heaven.
- What is the Grim Reaper’s favorite sandwich? A BLT – Bread, Lettuce, and Tombstone.
- What’s the Grim Reaper’s favorite cooking utensil? A frying pan-dead-monium.
- Why did the Grim Reaper go to the haunted house? To meet old friends.
- Why is the Grim Reaper great at dating? He’s a real heart-stopper.
- Why did the Grim Reaper get a ticket? He was caught in a no-reaping zone.
- Why did the Grim Reaper become a barber? He’s good with a blade.
- Why does the Grim Reaper never play soccer? He can’t handle all the life-saving.
- What does the Grim Reaper eat for breakfast? Mourning toast.
- Why does the Grim Reaper love chess? He always starts with the death move.
- What is the Grim Reaper’s favorite candy? Life Savers… he likes the irony.
- Why did the Grim Reaper go to the dentist? To improve his deadly grin.