57+ grass / lawn jokes
- Why don’t grasses ever get into trouble? Because they always stay grounded.
- Why was the grass so proud? It was always “a blade” above the rest!
- Why do grasses make bad secrets keepers? They can’t keep anything under turf.
- Why was the grass at the concert? It was a “fan” of the roots!
- What did the grass say to the mower? Please, cut it out!
- Why is the grass always so calm? It knows how to “go with the mow”.
- Why was the grass a terrible comedian? It always “fell flat”.
- What do you call a grass that sings? Elvis Parsley!
- Why did the grass break up with the flower? It felt they were growing apart.
- Why did the grass get a ticket? It was caught “green-handed”!
- What did the lawn say to the gardener? I’m really “fond of your rake”!
- What’s the grass’ favorite dance move? The lawn-dance!
- Why did the grass go to the doctor? It was feeling “green”.
- Why was the grass always broke? Because it was always getting “mowed down”.
- Why do grasses make great detectives? They always get to the “root” of the problem.
- Why was the grass on the phone? It was making a “grass distance call”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite movie? “Lawn of the Dead”.
- What did the grass wear to the party? Its “green tie”.
- Why was the grass so good at chess? It always knew how to make the right “mow-ves”.
- Why don’t grasses like gossip? They prefer “turf talk”.
- How does grass apologize? It “blades” it on the rain!
- What is a grass’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone-yard!
- Why did the grass go to school? To get “a little lawn and order”.
- Why was the grass always organized? It loved to “sort the lawn out”.
- What is a grass’s favorite meal? “Lawn-ch”.
- What do you call a grass that’s a rockstar? “Mow-tley Crue”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite song? “Don’t Stop Be-leaf-ing”.
- How does grass end an argument? “Alright, let’s cut to the chaste!”
- What does a grass say at a farewell? “So-Long”!
- How does a grass call for help? It “sods for help”.
- Why did the grass get an award? For outstanding “field” performance.
- Why did the grass visit the psychologist? It couldn’t handle the “daily grind”.
- Why was the grass always fit? It loved to “jog on the spot”.
- What does a grass say before dinner? “Lettuce pray”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite TV show? “Lawn Order”.
- Why did the grass cross the road? To get to the “other sod”.
- What do you call a grass that does magic? “Harry Putter”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite sport? “Lawn tennis”.
- Why was the grass always good at making decisions? It always thought it “turf-ough”.
- Why don’t grasses get along with bugs? They have a “turf war”.
- What did the grass say to the lawn mower? “I think we’re moving too fast”.
- Why did the grass get a promotion? It was great at “field work”.
- What does a grass do when it’s sad? It “sods out loud”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite superhero? “Green Lantern”.
- Why was the grass always a gentleman? It loved to “lawn-ch” chairs for ladies.
- What’s a grass’s favorite music band? “The Beetles”.
- What do you call a grass that’s an artist? “Vincent Van Grow”.
- Why did the grass love to shop? It loved “lawn-ge sales”.
- What do you call a grass that loves astronomy? “Neil Grass Tyson”.
- How does a grass write a letter? With a “pen and ink-plant”.
- What does a grass say when it’s confused? “I’m all mowed up”.
- Why did the grass start a podcast? It wanted to spread its “roots”.
- How does grass say goodbye in Spain? “Adios, Lawn-dos”.
- Why did the grass become a baker? It loved to “knead dough”.
- Why was the grass bad at hide and seek? Because it was always spotted.
- How do grasses stay fit? By doing “lawn-g lunges”.
- Why did the grass always look young? It was great at “mow-turizing”.
- How does a grass greet its friend? “How’s it mowin’?”.
- Why did the grass become a mathematician? It loved “natural lawn-garithms”.
- Why did the grass fail the exam? It didn’t “prepare for the turf test”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite pet? “A Lawn-cat”.
- Why was the grass always polite? It loved to “give a mow-ment to others”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite cartoon? “Tom and Mow-ry”.
- Why did the grass get a haircut? It was “overgrown”.
- What does a grass call its sweetheart? “My little lawn-dove”.
- Why did the grass go to the party? To “have a mow-ment”.
- Why did the grass join the choir? It loved to “sing in tune with nature”.
- Why did the grass always have a backup plan? It was a “grasshopper”.
- How does a grass get attention? It “makes a scene on the green”.
- Why was the grass always relaxed? It loved to “lie on the lawn”.
- Why did the grass always take notes? It loved to “jot things down in the sod”.
- Why was the grass always fair? It loved “equali-tree”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite nursery rhyme? “Mary had a little lawn”.
- What did the grass say when it felt guilty? “I take full re-sod-ability”.
- Why did the grass write a book? It wanted to “share its roots”.
- Why was the grass never lonely? It had plenty of “budding friendships”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite holiday? “Christmas tree decorating day”.
- Why did the grass go to the tailor? It wanted a “lawn-gerie”.
- Why did the grass become a poet? It was a “romantic at heart”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite board game? “Lawnopoly”.
- Why did the grass join the army? It wanted to “defend its turf”.
- Why was the grass good at poker? It had a “poker face”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite beverage? “Dew on the lawn”.
- Why did the grass become a teacher? It wanted to “nurture young minds”.
- Why did the grass go to the gym? It wanted to “build muscle”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite pastime? “Watching sunsets on the lawn”.
- Why did the grass go to the beach? It loved to “soak up the sun”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite dessert? “Grassberry pie”.
- Why was the grass a great lawyer? It knew “the law of the land”.
- Why did the grass go on a diet? It was “eating too much turf”.
- Why was the grass a great builder? It knew how to “lay the foundation”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite day of the week? “Sun-dey”.
- Why did the grass get a computer? It wanted to be “up-to-date”.
- Why was the grass good at science? It was “natural”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite book? “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King-Grass”.
- Why did the grass become a photographer? It loved to “capture the moment”.
- Why did the grass visit the dentist? It wanted a “clean smile”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of music? “Mow-town”.
- Why was the grass good at sports? It had a “competitive spirit”.
- Why did the grass go to college? It wanted to “get a degree”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite quote? “The grass is always greener on the other side”.
- Why did the grass become a comedian? It loved to “make people laugh”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite video game? “Super Mario Bros: Lawn Edition”.
- Why did the grass become an entrepreneur? It wanted to “start a business”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of film? “Green-screen”.
- Why did the grass become an actor? It wanted to “be in the spotlight”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of joke? “Pun-tastic”.
- Why did the grass become a doctor? It wanted to “help others”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of car? “Green energy cars”.
- Why did the grass become a scientist? It wanted to “discover new things”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of flower? “Grasstulips”.
- Why did the grass become a baker? It wanted to “bake delicious treats”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of fruit? “Grassberries”.
- Why did the grass become a journalist? It wanted to “tell the truth”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite holiday? “Earth day”.
- Why did the grass become an astronaut? It wanted to “explore the universe”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of candy? “Grasshopper gummies”.
- Why did the grass become a chef? It wanted to “make delicious meals”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of pizza? “Greens and herbs pizza”.
- Why did the grass become a pilot? It wanted to “fly high”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of burger? “Grass-fed beef burger”.
- Why did the grass become a firefighter? It wanted to “save lives”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of pie? “Green apple pie”.
- Why did the grass become a writer? It wanted to “tell stories”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of ice cream? “Grasshopper mint”.
- Why did the grass become a policeman? It wanted to “serve and protect”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of soup? “Green vegetable soup”.
- Why did the grass become a dancer? It wanted to “express itself”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of salad? “Mixed greens salad”.
- Why did the grass become a coach? It wanted to “train athletes”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of sandwich? “Green veggie sandwich”.
- Why did the grass become a mechanic? It wanted to “fix things”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of drink? “Green tea”.
- Why did the grass become a gardener? It loved to “take care of plants”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of bread? “Green olive ciabatta”.
- Why did the grass become a musician? It wanted to “make beautiful music”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of pasta? “Green pesto pasta”.
- Why did the grass become a teacher? It wanted to “inspire students”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of cake? “Green velvet cake”.
- Why did the grass become a fashion designer? It loved to “create beautiful outfits”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of cookie? “Mint chocolate chip cookies”.
- Why did the grass become a painter? It wanted to “create art”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of soda? “Lemon-lime soda”.
- Why did the grass become a librarian? It loved to “read books”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of smoothie? “Green detox smoothie”.
- Why did the grass become an architect? It loved to “design buildings”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of donut? “Green tea donut”.
- Why did the grass become a vet? It wanted to “care for animals”.
- What’s a grass’s favorite type of sushi? “Green vegetable sushi”.
- Why did the grass become a motivational speaker? It loved to “inspire people”.