79 detroit jokes
- Why did the Detroit Tiger become a baker? Because he was a pro at handling buns!
- What’s the Detroit Lions’ favorite piece of furniture? The bench.
- Why don’t people play hide and seek in Detroit? Because good luck hiding when everyone knows your car!
- How does a Detroit hipster burn his tongue? He drinks his coffee before it’s cool.
- Why don’t basketball players do well in Detroit? They always miss the Pistons!
- Why did the Detroit auto worker go broke? He always gave his friends a brake.
- Why are Detroit Tigers games like a bakery? They’re full of rolls, buns, and occasionally, a great batter!
- Why did the car apply to the University of Detroit? It wanted to improve its bodywork!
- What do you call a guitarist from Detroit? A Motor City strummer!
- What did the Detroit Lions’ quarterback say to the car? “Wanna catch a pass?”
- Why did the Detroit traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
- What’s the difference between a Detroit Lions fan and a skydiver? The skydiver knows when he’s going to hit rock bottom.
- How does the Detroit river cut its hair? It parts it down the middle.
- Why did the Detroit teacher go to the bakery? To teach about the Pie-thon theorem!
- Why do Detroiters always carry a map? Because you never know when you’ll come across a road you can’t Ford.
- What did the Motor City say to the musician? “You drive me crazy!”
- What does a Detroit car and a computer have in common? They both have windows!
- Why don’t Detroiters play soccer? Because every time they get a corner, they open a store!
- Why was the Detroit snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose!
- Why don’t they make ice in Detroit? They lost the recipe!
- What do you call a cat from Detroit? A Motor Kitty!
- Why did the Detroit man take his clock to the vet? Because it had ticks!
- What did the Detroit zookeeper give the lion on its birthday? The keys to a new Jeep!
- What do you call a Detroit bakery that’s only open at night? A doughnut factory!
- Why did the Detroit coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back.
- What do you call a fish from Detroit? A Motor P-City!
- Why don’t Detroiters drink tea? It’s always Motor City Coffee time!
- How do Detroiters stay fit? They run out of gas!
- Why did the Detroit Lions fan bring a ladder to the game? He heard the stakes were high!
- What’s a Detroit musician’s favorite note? B, for Belle Isle.
- Why did the tomato turn red on 8 Mile? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What do you call a Detroit dog that tells time? A watch dog!
- Why don’t Detroit artists ever get lost? Because they know all the fine lines!
- Why did the Detroit pizza go to therapy? It couldn’t deal with getting sliced up.
- What’s the most musical part of Detroit? The Or-chestra Hall!
- Why did the Detroit car go to school? It wanted to become a Smart car!
- What do you call a Detroit bird who can rap? A tweet MC!
- How do you know Detroit is tough? Even the buildings have Pistons!
- What does a Detroit car do when it takes a vacation? It lets off some steam.
- What do you call a Detroit chicken crossing the road? Fast food!
- Why was the Detroit car feeling down? It had low self-esteam.
- What does a Detroit cat say when it gets run over? “I’m feline flat!”
- What did one Detroit skyscraper say to the other? “You crack me up!”
- Why did the Detroit thief steal a calendar? He wanted to get some dates!
- What do you call an emotionally sensitive Detroit Lion? A whimpering lion.
- Why did the Detroit lawyer become a baker? He knew all about rolls and dough!
- Why do Detroit cars hate playing chess? Because they hate being put in park!
- What did the Detroit bread do when it lost its job? It started loafing around.
- Why was the Detroit pizza afraid of the sandwich? It heard the sandwich was stuffed.
- What do you call a Detroit robot that sings? A melody motor!
- Why did the Detroit lemon go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
- What’s the Detroit Lions’ favorite dessert? Fumble pie!
- What’s the quietest place in Detroit? The library, because everyone’s reading the Pistons!
- Why did the Detroit scarecrow become a detective? He was outstanding in his field!
- Why did the Detroit coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
- What do you call a Detroit crocodile in a vest? An investigator!
- Why don’t Detroit buildings play hide and seek? Because they always get spotted!
- What’s a Detroit car’s favorite exercise? Carburetor crunches.
- What do you call a Detroit tiger with glasses? A scientific calculator!
- Why was the Detroit broom late? It overswept!
- Why do Detroit Tigers brush their teeth three times a day? To prevent tooth decay!
- Why did the Detroit onion write a tell-all? It wanted to make everyone cry!
- What’s a Detroit car’s favorite pick-up line? “Are you an alternator? Because you’re charging my heart!”
- Why do Detroiters love baseball? Because it’s a game of hits and runs, just like their roads!
- Why do Detroit light bulbs make terrible comedians? They always leave their audience in the dark.
- Why don’t Detroiters play chess in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
- How does a Detroit cat count? “One, two, three, fur, five.”
- Why do Detroit books never get cold? They have their own jackets!
- What do you call a Detroit football player with a pink tutu? Whatever his name is!
- Why don’t Detroit dogs make good dancers? They have two left feet!
- Why did the Detroit computer go to school? It heard the teacher had a lot of class!
- Why do Detroit bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!
- What do you call a Detroit snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
- Why did the Detroit bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
- What do you call a Detroit tiger on a trampoline? A spring chicken!
- Why did the Detroit music note go to school? It wanted to improve its composition!
- Why do Detroit roads never get lost? They always follow the signs!
- What do you call a Detroit comedian who doesn’t eat? A stand-up comic with no delivery.
- Why did the Detroit painter go to jail? He was caught in the act of brushing!