57+ december jokes

  1. Why don’t Christmas trees like knitting? They always drop their needles!
  2. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose!
  3. What’s Santa’s favorite type of music? Wrap!
  4. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open!
  5. How does a snowman get around? By riding an ‘icicle!
  6. What do elves post on Social Media? Elf-ies!
  7. What do you call a cat on the beach during December? Sandy Claus!
  8. How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed!
  9. Why was the ornament addicted to Christmas? It was hooked on trees!
  10. Why are Christmas trees bad at sewing? They always drop their needles!
  11. Why was the snowman looking in the bag of carrots? He wanted a nose job!
  12. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  13. What do you call Santa when he accidentally falls into a fireplace? Krisp Kringle!
  14. What did one ornament say to another? ‘I like hanging with you.’
  15. What do you call a dog who works for Santa? Santa Paws!
  16. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? Because he felt crumby!
  17. What does Jack Frost like best about school? Snow and tell!
  18. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim!
  19. What says Oh Oh Oh? Santa walking backward!
  20. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An Ice-olated bodybuilder!
  21. What do you call a frozen elf hanging from the ceiling? An elfcicle!
  22. Why do Christmas trees love to knit? Because they’re purl-fect at it!
  23. What do snowmen eat for lunch? Icebergers!
  24. What do you call a snowman party? A snowball!
  25. How does the snowman get to work? By icicle!
  26. What’s a snowman’s favorite breakfast? Frosted Flakes!
  27. Why was the math book sad at Christmas? Because it had too many problems!
  28. How do sheep say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad!
  29. Why was the snowman sorting through the carrots? He was picking his nose!
  30. Why was the snowflake sad? Because it had a meltdown!
  31. How do you scare a snowman? With a hairdryer!
  32. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open!
  33. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
  34. Why don’t Christmas trees like knitting? Because they always drop their needles!
  35. Why was the gingerbread house always cold? It had drafty windows!
  36. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  37. Why didn’t Rudolph make honor roll? Because he went down in history!
  38. How do you know when Santa’s in the room? You can sense his Claus!
  39. Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work, and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!
  40. Why did Santa bring 22 reindeer to Walmart? Because what he wanted to buy cost around 20 bucks!
  41. What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish!
  42. How does Christmas Day end? With the letter Y!
  43. What’s the Grinch’s least favorite band? The Who!
  44. What does Santa use when he gets injured? Claus-trophobic!
  45. Why do Christmas trees go to the barber? They need a trim!
  46. Why did the ornament go to school? It wanted to be a little brighter!
  47. What do you call a reindeer that tells jokes? Comed-deer!
  48. How does Santa keep his suits wrinkle-free? He uses Claus-tarch!
  49. Why don’t aliens celebrate Christmas? Because they don’t want to give away their presence!
  50. Why was the math book sad during Christmas? It had too many ‘problems’ to solve!
  51. Why did Santa Claus go to therapy? He no longer believed in himself!
  52. What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper!
  53. Why do Christmas lights never go to school? Because they’re too bright!
  54. What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs!
  55. How does a snowman lose weight? He waits for the weather to warm up!
  56. How can Santa deliver presents during a thunderstorm? His sleigh is flown by rain-deer!
  57. Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney? Because it soots him!
  58. What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle!
  59. What do you call an elf who can sing? A wrapper!
  60. What do you call a cat on the beach during Christmas? Sandy Claus!
  61. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open!
  62. Why did the ornament go to school? It wanted to be a little ‘brighter’!
  63. How can you tell snowmen from snow women? Check the snowballs!
  64. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  65. What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?
  66. Why don’t Christmas trees like knitting? Because they always drop their needles!
  67. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinselitis!
  68. How do snowmen greet each other? Ice to meet you!
  69. Why was the math book sad during Christmas? It had too many ‘problems’ to solve!
  70. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament? Aren’t you tired of hanging around?
  71. What’s a parent’s favorite Christmas carol? Silent Night!
  72. Why do mummies like Christmas so much? Because of all the wrapping!
  73. Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee? Because they’re Santa’s star bucks!
  74. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  75. What’s a snowman’s favorite food? Burrr-itos!
  76. Why does Santa go down the chimney? It soots him!
  77. What do you call a reindeer that tells jokes? Comed-deer!
  78. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An ice sculptor!
  79. What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert? Lost!
  80. How does a snowman get to work? By icicle!
  81. What says Oh Oh Oh? Santa walking backward!
  82. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  83. What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost!
  84. Why was the Christmas tree bad at knitting? Because it always drops its needles!
  85. Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? They always drop their needles!
  86. What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle!
  87. What’s a parent’s favorite Christmas carol? Silent Night!
  88. What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas? Sandy Claus!
  89. Why do Christmas trees love to knit? Because they’re purl-fect at it!
  90. What do you call a reindeer that tells jokes? Comed-deer!
  91. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An ice sculptor!
  92. What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost!
  93. Why do Christmas trees love to knit? Because they’re purl-fect at it!
  94. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  95. What do you call a cat on the beach during Christmas? Sandy Claus!
  96. What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost!
  97. Why was the Christmas tree bad at knitting? Because it always drops its needles!
  98. Why did the ornament go to school? It wanted to be a little brighter!
  99. What do you call a reindeer that tells jokes? Comed-deer!
  100. What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle!
  101. What do you call a cat on the beach during Christmas? Sandy Claus!
  102. What says Oh Oh Oh? Santa walking backward!
  103. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  104. Why did Santa go to music school? Because he had the sleigh bells!
  105. What do you call a frozen elf hanging from the ceiling? An elfcicle!
  106. What do you call a reindeer that tells jokes? Comed-deer!
  107. How does Santa keep his suits wrinkle-free? He uses Claus-tarch!
  108. Why do Christmas lights never go to school? Because they’re too bright!
  109. Why did the snowflake never believe in Santa? It was a little flakey!
  110. Why don’t penguins like to talk at parties? They’re afraid of breaking the ice!
  111. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
  112. What do you call an elf who steals gift wrap from the rich and gives it to the poor? Ribbon Hood!
  113. How does Santa take pictures? With his North Polaroid!
  114. Why does Santa like living at the North Pole? Because it’s cool!
  115. What’s the best Christmas present? A broken drum, you can’t beat it!
  116. What does Santa do when his suit gets dirty? He Claus it in the wash!
  117. Why was the snowman rummaging in a bag of carrots? He was preparing a new nose job!
  118. How does Santa keep his clothes neat when he travels? He packs Claus-tarch!
  119. Why does Santa love gardening? Because he goes Hoe, Hoe, Hoe!
  120. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  121. Why did the gingerbread cookie visit the doctor? He was feeling crumby!
  122. What did the gingerbread man use to fix his house? Icing and gumdrops!
  123. Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee? Because they’re Santa’s star bucks!
  124. What’s the Grinch’s least favorite band? The Who!
  125. Why was the Christmas tree bad at knitting? Because it always drops its needles!
  126. Why did the Christmas cookie visit a psychiatrist? It had a crumbling personality!
  127. How does the Snowman travel around town? By riding an ‘icicle!
  128. Why don’t snowmen go to college? Because they’re not very well-rounded!
  129. What kind of music does Santa Claus like best? Wrap music!
  130. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim!
  131. What do sheep say to each other at Christmastime? Merry Christmas to ewe!
  132. Why did the snowman want a divorce? His wife was a total flake!
  133. Why did the cranberries turn red? Because they saw the turkey dressing!
  134. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite!
  135. Why did Santa go to the guitar store? He wanted to pick up some plectrums!
  136. Why was the computer cold at Christmas? It left its Windows open!
  137. How does a snowman lose weight? He waits for the weather to warm up!
  138. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim!
  139. What’s an elf’s favorite type of math? Elf-gebra!
  140. Why don’t snowmen go to college? Because they’re not very well-rounded!
  141. Why did Santa Claus go to therapy? He no longer believed in himself!
  142. Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney? Because it soots him!
  143. What do you call an old snowman? Water!
  144. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An Ice-olated bodybuilder!
  145. Why did the ornament go to school? It wanted to be a little brighter!
  146. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim!
  147. What do you call an elf who steals gift wrap from the rich and gives it to the poor? Ribbon Hood!
  148. Why did the gingerbread cookie go to school? He wanted to be a smart cookie!
  149. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim!
  150. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament? Aren’t you tired of hanging around?

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