67 cleveland jokes

  1. Why don’t Cleveland Browns players drink tea? Because the Patriots have all the cups.
  2. Why did the Cleveland cat join a band? It heard there was an opportunity for a “purr-cussionist” in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
  3. How do you know you’re from Cleveland? When your city has both the Browns and the blues.
  4. What’s the only thing in Cleveland that doesn’t need repairing? The “Broken Dreams Boulevard.”
  5. Why did LeBron James return to Cleveland? He wanted to teach the Cavaliers how to play king’s court.
  6. Why did the cookie go to the Cleveland Clinic? Because it felt crumby.
  7. How do you know you’re in Cleveland? Even your GPS says, “Recalculating…”
  8. Why are there no ice vending machines in Cleveland? They all got replaced with snowball dispensers.
  9. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the Cleveland Browns’ season record.
  10. Why don’t they make “Unsolved Mysteries” in Cleveland? Because everyone knows where the Browns disappeared to after the first half.
  11. Why did the Cleveland Browns bring a ladder to the bar? They heard the drinks were on the house.
  12. How are Cleveland weather forecasts and their football team alike? They can both change dramatically in just a few minutes.
  13. Why was the belt arrested in Cleveland? For holding up the Browns’ pants.
  14. What’s the difference between a Cleveland driver and a raccoon? The raccoon knows to avoid potholes.
  15. What do you call a superhero from Cleveland? “Survivor-man.”
  16. Why do Cleveland sports teams play at night? Because even the sun can’t stand to watch.
  17. What do you call a sunny day in Cleveland? Tuesday. Just kidding, it’s a myth.
  18. Why did the Cleveland Browns’ quarterback go to school? Because he couldn’t pass anything.
  19. Why don’t Cleveland Browns players ever get a coffee break? Because it’s against the rules to ground the Browns.
  20. How does a Cleveland fan change a light bulb? They don’t, they just talk about how good the old one was.
  21. Why did the Cleveland Browns bring string to the game? They wanted to tie something for once.
  22. What do the Cleveland Browns and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.
  23. Why do people in Cleveland never play hide and seek? Because no one would come look for them.
  24. Why don’t Cleveland Browns players eat cereal? Because they choke whenever they get near a bowl.
  25. How does a Cleveland native make holy water? They boil the hell out of it.
  26. Why did the Cleveland Browns take a baker to the Super Bowl? They needed someone to help with the turnovers.
  27. Why did the Cleveland Browns bring a deck of cards to the game? Because they couldn’t find their offensive line.
  28. What do you call a Cleveland Browns player with a Super Bowl ring? A thief.
  29. Why did the Cleveland Browns go to the bakery? They heard the turnovers were fresh.
  30. What do the Great Lakes and Cleveland football have in common? They’re both full of Browns.
  31. Why is Cleveland like a refrigerator? They’re both cold and don’t have a decent quarterback.
  32. Why did the Cleveland Browns go to the bakery? They needed a good “roll” model.
  33. What’s the difference between a Cleveland Browns fan and a baby? The baby will stop crying eventually.
  34. Why do birds fly upside down over Cleveland? There’s nothing worth crapping on.
  35. Why was the Cleveland Browns’ playbook covered in syrup? It was easier to swallow the plays that way.
  36. How many Cleveland Browns players does it take to change a tire? Just one, unless it’s a blowout, then they all show up.
  37. Why don’t Cleveland Browns fans have mid-life crises? They’re always in crisis mode.
  38. What do you call a Cleveland Browns player in the Super Bowl? A referee.
  39. What do the Cleveland Browns and Billy goats have in common? They both play better on the mountain tops.
  40. What’s the difference between a Cleveland Browns fan and a martian? Martians might have seen a Super Bowl.
  41. Why did the Cleveland Browns go to the car dealership? They heard they could trade in their old lemon.
  42. What does a Cleveland Browns fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl? He turns off the PlayStation.
  43. What do you call a good day in Cleveland? When the Browns don’t lose, and the sun shines, so…never.
  44. How do you confuse a Cleveland Browns player? Give him a “W” and ask him to spell “win.”
  45. Why did the Cleveland Browns open a bakery? They needed something to do in the off-season.
  46. What’s the difference between a Cleveland Browns quarterback and a baby? The baby can eventually learn to stop throwing things.
  47. Why did the Cleveland Browns player carry a car door into the desert? If it got too hot, he’d just roll down the window.
  48. Why don’t Cleveland Browns players ever catch a cold? Because they always dodge the draft.
  49. How do you keep a Cleveland Browns player out of your yard? Put up goal posts.
  50. Why don’t Cleveland Browns players have webpages? They can’t string three “W’s” together.
  51. What’s the difference between a Cleveland Browns player and a dollar? You can get four quarters out of a dollar.
  52. Why is the Cleveland Browns football team like a possum? They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
  53. What do the Cleveland Browns and a Chick-fil-A have in common? Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.
  54. How many Cleveland Browns does it take to win a Super Bowl? No one knows and we may never find out.
  55. What do you call 53 millionaires sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl? The Cleveland Browns.
  56. What’s the difference between a Cleveland Browns player and a vending machine? The vending machine gives you your money’s worth.
  57. Why is Cleveland the best place for a diet? Nothing good to eat, nothing good to drink, and it’s always too cold to leave the house.
  58. Why did the Cleveland Browns visit the bank? They needed a “quarter-back.”
  59. How do Cleveland Browns fans count to 10? 0-1, 0-2, 0-3…
  60. Why don’t Cleveland Browns players use bookmarks? Because the playbook wasn’t interesting enough to finish reading.
  61. Why did the Cleveland Browns go to school? They couldn’t figure out what “win” meant.
  62. What do you call a Cleveland Browns player at the Super Bowl? Lost.
  63. What do you call a Cleveland Browns fan in heaven? An Angel.
  64. How can you tell a Cleveland Browns fan is married? There’s a can of beer and a remote control in both hands.
  65. Why did the Cleveland Browns fly to the game? Because they always miss their run.
  66. What’s the best thing to come out of Cleveland? I-90 West.
  67. Why did the Cleveland Browns fan bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the shots were on top.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *