150 castle puns
- Did you hear about the time I stayed in a castle? It was a knight to remember!
- I started building a sandcastle but I just couldn’t keep up with the tide… I guess I’m not shore of myself.
- Why did the castle go to therapy? It had too many walls up.
- If you live in a castle, you’re really living in the past.
- Did you hear about the castle that always made jokes? It was known for its dry moat of humor.
- What do castles wear to parties? Tower ties.
- The castle couldn’t keep a secret. It had too many tell-tales.
- Don’t trust the castle. It might be a facade.
- How do castles communicate? Through their cell-phones.
- Why was the castle always lost? It had too many winding passages.
- Why don’t castles go to college? Because they already have so many degrees.
- Castles don’t go to public schools. They prefer privy-tuition.
- Why don’t castles do well in sports? They always get castled.
- What did the castle say to its child? “Don’t take life for granite.”
- Did you hear about the musical castle? It’s great at composing.
- How does a castle cut its lawn? With a land mower.
- How does a castle stay cool? With central air-eration.
- What do you call a castle that is always under construction? A work in progress.
- How does a castle keep its shape? It works on its core-dons.
- What do castles use to unlock doors? A key-p.
- Why was the castle bad at math? It couldn’t figure out the square root.
- What’s a castle’s favorite type of music? Rock.
- How do castles stay in touch? Through the grapevine.
- What’s a castle’s favorite drink? Moat water.
- How do castles like their eggs? Hard-boiled, like their battles.
- Castles are like onions; they have layers.
- What’s a castle’s favorite card game? Bridge.
- Castles are always up for a little knight life.
- What do you call a well-read castle? A literate tower.
- How do castles stay clean? They take a bailey bath.
- Castles are never late; they always come in the nick of time.
- Castles always look sharp, thanks to their ramparts.
- Castles never get lost because they stick to the straight and arrow.
- Castles are not picky eaters; they eat whatever is in the keep.
- Castles don’t like to cook. They prefer take-out from the drawbridge.
- Castles are not the best gardeners. They have a habit of letting their plants overgrow.
- Why are castles good at chess? Because they always have their rooks in a row.
- Castles don’t like to dance. They have two left turrets.
- What do you call a castle that loves art? A sculpture park.
- What do castles use to style their hair? A comb-battlement.
- Castles don’t drink coffee. They’re more into mocha-tte.
- Castles never cheat. They always play by the book.
- Castles are great at hide-and-seek. They have plenty of hiding towers.
- Why don’t castles have pets? Because they don’t want to deal with the moat droppings.
- Castles don’t get sunburned. They always use sun turret lotion.
- Castles don’t play football. They are more into castle-ball.
- Castles don’t get lonely. They always have a tower of friends.
- Castles love playing cards. They always have a full deck.
- Castles don’t have nightmares. They sleep like a log.
- Castles don’t get stressed. They are always on the defense.
- Castles are not into horror movies. They prefer historical drama.
- Castles are bad at hide-and-seek. They always stick out like a sore turret.
- Castles don’t work. They’re too busy being fortified.
- Castles don’t get lost. They always keep their bearings.
- Castles don’t get the flu. They are always well-protected.
- Castles never get bored. They always have something up their sleeve.
- Castles don’t play basketball. They prefer court jesting.
- Castles don’t get cold. They’re used to the draft.
- Castles don’t take showers. They prefer to draw a bath.
- Castles don’t play poker. They’re more into royal flush.
- Castles are great at treasure hunts. They have a natural knack for finding the loot.
- Castles don’t have pets. They find them hard to turret.
- Castles are always early. They beat everyone to the punch.
- Castles don’t get nervous. They are always stone-cold.
- Castles don’t lose their keys. They keep them under the drawbridge.
- Castles love recycling. They always go green.
- Castles never get tired. They are built to last.
- Castles don’t have eyes, but they can always spot an invader.
- Castles never get tired. They are built to withstand.
- Castles are never out of style. They have a timeless appeal.
- Castles don’t need clocks. They are always on tower time.
- Castles are the life of the party. They are always raising the barbican.
- Castles don’t need banks. They have their own vaults.
- Castles don’t get cold feet. They’re always ready to stand their ground.
- Castles don’t get hangovers. They’re good at holding their ale.
- Castles don’t play baseball. They prefer a good joust.
- Castles always know the score. They keep count.
- Castles don’t have hobbies. They have fort interests.
- Castles don’t rush. They take it one step at a time.
- Castles don’t have noses, but they can still smell a rat.
- Castles don’t get lost. They always follow the right path.
- Castles don’t play cards. They prefer to keep their hands close to their vest.
- Castles are terrible at keeping secrets. They have too many open doors.
- Castles don’t smoke. They’re already hazy enough.
- Castles don’t need mirrors. They reflect on their past.
- Castles are never late. They always rise at the crack of dawn.
- Castles don’t wear shoes, but they always stand firm.
- Castles never play favorites. They’re impartial.
- Castles don’t need makeovers. They’re already glamorous.
- Castles are always fashionable. They always look sharp.
- Castles never cry. They hold back their moat.
- Castles don’t swim. They prefer to stay on dry land.
- Castles are always on the lookout. They never blink.
- Castles don’t play the lottery. They prefer a sure thing.
- Castles never take shortcuts. They always follow the royal road.
- Castles are not good at running. They prefer to stay put.
- Castles don’t play chess. They have their own game of thrones.
- Castles are always prepared. They keep everything under lock and key.
- Castles don’t need elevators. They’re already high up.
- Castles never get seasick. They stay on solid ground.
- Castles don’t sing. They let the minstrels do it.
- Castles never flunk tests. They are always well-prepared.
- Castles don’t snore. They’re quiet as a stone.
- Castles don’t need doctors. They’re built to last.
- Castles don’t get jealous. They stand alone.
- Castles don’t play video games. They’re too busy defending their honor.
- Castles don’t get haircuts. They’re too busy protecting their crowning glory.
- Castles are never caught off guard. They’re always alert.
- Castles don’t get into arguments. They’re built to resist.
- Castles never play hide and seek. They’re always in plain sight.
- Castles don’t tell lies. They’re true to their word.
- Castles don’t use GPS. They know their way around.
- Castles don’t go on diets. They’re always in great shape.
- Castles don’t get jealous. They’re already the envy of all.
- Castles don’t go on vacations. They’re always at home.
- Castles don’t get lost. They’re always at the right place.
- Castles don’t get bored. They’re always entertaining guests.
- Castles don’t play hide and seek. They’re always on guard.
- Castles don’t need vitamins. They’re already strong.
- Castles don’t get nervous. They’re always composed.
- Castles don’t get homesick. They’re always where they want to be.
- Castles don’t worry about the future. They’ve stood the test of time.
- Castles don’t lose their cool. They’re always stone-faced.
- Castles don’t need to exercise. They’re always in peak condition.
- Castles don’t need a watch. They’re always on time.
- Castles don’t need to make New Year’s resolutions. They’re always resolving conflicts.
- Castles don’t celebrate birthdays. They’re timeless.
- Castles don’t need sunglasses. They’re used to the spotlight.
- Castles don’t need fashion advice. They’re always dressed to impress.
- Castles don’t need to diet. They’re always solid as a rock.
- Castles don’t need a gym membership. They’re already built to perfection.
- Castles don’t need motivation. They’re always standing tall.
- Castles don’t need to go shopping. They’re always decked out.
- Castles don’t get embarrassed. They’re always stately.
- Castles don’t need to worry about weight. They’re already heavy-duty.
- Castles don’t need to go to school. They’re always educating.
- Castles don’t need a gardener. They’re always in full bloom.
- Castles don’t need a babysitter. They’re always watching out.
- Castles don’t need to diet. They’re already hard to beat.
- Castles don’t need coffee. They’re always alert.
- Castles don’t need a security system. They’re always on guard.
- Castles don’t need a makeover. They’re already majestic.
- Castles don’t get lonely. They’re always surrounded.
- Castles don’t need a cleaning service. They’re always spotless.
- Castles don’t get scared. They’re always fortified.
- Castles don’t need a party planner. They’re always entertaining.
- Castles don’t need to relax. They’re always at ease.
- Castles don’t need a vacation. They’re always a getaway.
- Castles don’t need to go camping. They’re always in nature.
- Castles don’t need a map. They’re always a landmark.