143 acorn jokes

  1. Why don’t acorns ever exaggerate?
    • Because they always keep it real – oakay?
  2. Why was the acorn blushing?
    • Because it saw the tree changing!
  3. What do you call an acorn’s favorite TV show?
    • Nutflix.
  4. How do we know acorns are polite?
    • They always go out on a limb to help!
  5. What’s an acorn’s favorite day of the week?
    • Oak-day (Wednesday).
  6. What do acorns say when they play hide-and-seek?
    • “I’m hard to find, wood you believe it?”
  7. Why don’t acorns use smartphones?
    • They’re more comfortable with tree-telepathy!
  8. What do you call an acorn with a tie?
    • Oak-cupied in business!
  9. What’s the acorn’s favorite subject in school?
    • Geo-tree-phy!
  10. What’s the acorn’s favorite band?
    • The Oak Street Boys!
  11. How did the acorn find its sibling in the forest?
    • It felt it in its pith.
  12. What do you call an acorn when it sneezes?
    • A cashew.
  13. Why did the acorn go to the party?
    • To have a shell of a time!
  14. Why did the acorn stop in the middle of the road?
    • Because it ran out of root!
  15. Why are acorns good listeners?
    • They’re all ears!
  16. Why don’t acorns tell secrets in the forest?
    • The squirrels might hear.
  17. What do you call an acorn that skips school?
    • A little nut-ty.
  18. How do acorns get their news?
    • The Vine Times!
  19. What’s an acorn’s favorite song?
    • “Everyday I’m rustling!”
  20. Why did the acorn go to jail?
    • It was accused of stalking!
  21. Why did the acorn stay home from the party?
    • It felt a little green!
  22. Why don’t acorns play poker in the forest?
    • Too many cheetahs!
  23. Why did the acorn go to school?
    • To get a little more rounded!
  24. What’s an acorn’s least favorite type of music?
    • Pop, because it’s too corny!
  25. Why did the acorn wear sunglasses?
    • Its future was so bright!
  26. What did the acorn say when it grew up?
    • Ge-om-e-tree!
  27. What did the acorn say to the squirrel?
    • You crack me up!
  28. What does an acorn say when it’s surprised?
    • “I’m stumped!”
  29. Why did the acorn wear a hat?
    • To cover its nut!
  30. Why was the acorn always broke?
    • It was cashew-less!
  31. Why don’t acorns get invited to picnics?
    • They always leave too much litter!
  32. Why did the acorn never believe anything it was told?
    • It was a little hard-shelled!
  33. Why are acorns great storytellers?
    • They have deeply-rooted tales!
  34. What do you call an acorn with no shell?
    • A bare necessity!
  35. What do you call an acorn on a hill?
    • A high nut!
  36. What’s an acorn’s favorite type of math?
    • Geome-tree!
  37. Why did the acorn never get lost?
    • It always stuck to its roots!
  38. Why was the acorn a good detective?
    • It always got to the root of the problem!
  39. Why did the acorn join the gym?
    • To get ripped!
  40. Why did the acorn always carry an umbrella?
    • It was scared of getting sapped!
  41. Why did the acorn always finish its dinner?
    • It didn’t want to leaf anything behind!
  42. How do you describe an acorn in winter?
    • A little nut-chilled!
  43. What do you call an acorn comedian?
    • A funny nut!
  44. What do you call an acorn with a quick temper?
    • A crack nut!
  45. Why did the acorn become a banker?
    • It was good at saving!
  46. What do you call an acorn when it wakes up?
    • Rise and pine!
  47. Why did the acorn start a band?
    • It had the treem-olo effect!
  48. Why did the acorn go to the bar?
    • It wanted to get a little acorn-y!
  49. Why was the acorn a good teacher?
    • Because it never pines for the old days!
  50. Why did the acorn wear a disguise?
    • It didn’t want to get picked up!
  51. Why are acorns never alone?
    • They always stick together!
  52. Why was the acorn always late?
    • It kept losing track of time in the woods!
  53. What’s an acorn’s favorite city?
    • Oak-land!
  54. Why was the acorn a good friend?
    • It was always there in times of tree-bble!
  55. Why did the acorn stay in bed?
    • It felt a bit oak-ay!
  56. Why did the acorn go to therapy?
    • It had inner bark issues!
  57. Why was the acorn a good politician?
    • It never leafed anyone behind!
  58. Why did the acorn like to read?
    • It liked to branch out its knowledge!
  59. Why did the acorn stop writing?
    • It had a case of cap-tion block!
  60. What’s an acorn’s favorite sport?
    • Branch-lifting!
  61. Why was the acorn so fit?
    • It did a lot of log runs!
  62. Why did the acorn get a job?
    • It wanted to be inde-pine-dent!
  63. Why was the acorn a good musician?
    • It had the best tree-molo!
  64. Why was the acorn a good dancer?
    • It had a tree-mendous rhythm!
  65. Why don’t acorns talk back?
    • They know bark is worse than their bite!
  66. What’s an acorn’s favorite dance move?
    • The twist and sprout!
  67. Why are acorns never on time?
    • They’re always stumped!
  68. What’s an acorn’s favorite type of jacket?
    • A bark-a!
  69. What do you call a scared acorn?
    • A nervous wreck-oak!
  70. Why was the acorn always happy?
    • Every day was oak-ay!
  71. Why did the acorn always carry a map?
    • It didn’t want to go against the grain!
  72. Why was the acorn the best at hide-and-seek?
    • It was outstanding in its field!
  73. Why did the acorn stop rolling down the hill?
    • It was tired of going around in circles!
  74. Why was the acorn a good student?
    • It always took notes on its palm!
  75. Why did the acorn get promoted?
    • It always went out on a limb for the company!
  76. What do you call an acorn in space?
    • An astro-nut!
  77. Why did the acorn get a haircut?
    • It was tired of being a long-hair!
  78. What’s an acorn’s favorite movie?
    • Forest Gump!
  79. Why did the acorn bring a bag to the park?
    • It was collecting memories!
  80. Why did the acorn never get sunburned?
    • It stayed under the canopy!
  81. Why did the acorn become a gardener?
    • It loved being surrounded by bud-dies!
  82. Why did the acorn make a good judge?
    • It always ruled with a firm bark!
  83. Why did the acorn break up with its girlfriend?
    • It felt like she took him for pome-granate!
  84. Why did the acorn make a good explorer?
    • It always knew where to plant its flag!
  85. Why was the acorn an optimist?
    • It believed in growth!
  86. What’s an acorn’s favorite drink?
    • Root beer!
  87. Why did the acorn stay close to the ground?
    • It didn’t want to go against the grain!
  88. Why did the acorn wear a helmet?
    • It had a hard head!
  89. Why was the acorn a good parent?
    • It always had strong roots!
  90. Why was the acorn a good author?
    • It could always spruce up a story!
  91. Why was the acorn a good actor?
    • It knew how to put on a good bark!
  92. What did the acorn say at the job interview?
    • “I’m all ears!”
  93. Why did the acorn always have money?
    • It was a seed investor!
  94. Why did the acorn stop rolling?
    • It hit rock bottom!
  95. Why was the acorn always at peace?
    • It took life one branch at a time!
  96. Why did the acorn like puzzles?
    • They were tree-mendously fun!
  97. Why did the acorn bring an umbrella?
    • It didn’t want to get sapped!
  98. Why did the acorn join the circus?
    • It wanted to be the ring-barker!
  99. Why did the acorn never give up? – It knew it would someday become a tree!
  100. Why did the acorn go to the doctor? – It had a severe case of cap-itis!
  101. Why did the acorn start a band? – It had a knack for compost-itions!
  102. Why did the acorn sit in the shade? – It didn’t want to roast!
  103. Why was the acorn always chosen for games? – It was a team-tree player!
  104. What did the acorn wear to the winter party? – A tree-mendous sweater!
  105. Why did the acorn love history? – It loved to hear tales of ancient tree-lore!
  106. Why did the acorn like to write poetry? – It loved to leaf through words!
  107. Why did the acorn get in trouble in class? – It was always barking at classmates!
  108. Why did the acorn start a blog? – It wanted to share its life as a nut!
  109. What did the acorn say to its friend who was always lying? – “I’m tired of your acorn-y stories!”
  110. Why did the acorn love to travel? – It loved to see the tree-mendous sights!
  111. Why did the acorn hate puns? – They were too tree-dious!
  112. Why did the acorn love science? – It loved learning about the tree-mendous world!
  113. Why did the acorn love to draw? – It loved to create tree-mendous art!
  114. Why did the acorn love to dance? – It loved to move to the beat of the tree-m!
  115. Why did the acorn become a stand-up comedian? – It was always the life of the potty!
  116. Why did the acorn become a cook? – It loved making tree-ts!
  117. Why did the acorn go to the gym? – It wanted to get tree-mendously fit!
  118. Why did the acorn refuse to play the violin? – It didn’t want to string anyone along!
  119. Why did the acorn hate scary movies? – They were too tree-mbling!
  120. Why did the acorn love math? – It loved solving tree-quations!
  121. Why did the acorn take a nap? – It was tree-mendously tired!
  122. Why did the acorn take a bath? – It wanted to feel tree-freshing!
  123. Why did the acorn go to the beach? – It loved the tree-mendous views!
  124. Why did the acorn love to sing? – It had a tree-mendous voice!
  125. Why did the acorn start a charity? – It wanted to give back to the tree-munity!
  126. Why did the acorn love to read books? – They were tree-mendously exciting!
  127. Why did the acorn go to the city? – It was looking for a tree-t in the town!
  128. Why did the acorn love camping? – It loved the tree-mendous adventures!
  129. Why did the acorn stay in the forest? – It was afraid of branching out!
  130. Why did the acorn become a photographer? – It loved taking tree-mendous photos!
  131. Why did the acorn start a vlog? – It wanted to show off its tree-mendous life!
  132. Why did the acorn love to play video games? – It loved the tree-mendous action!
  133. Why did the acorn become a firefighter? – It wanted to save tree-mendous lives!
  134. Why did the acorn become a teacher? – It loved to spread tree-mendous knowledge!
  135. Why did the acorn become a journalist? – It loved to write tree-mendous stories!
  136. Why did the acorn join the choir? – It loved to sing tree-mendous songs!
  137. Why did the acorn become a painter? – It loved creating tree-mendous art!
  138. Why did the acorn become a scientist? – It loved discovering tree-mendous things!
  139. Why did the acorn become a mechanic? – It loved fixing tree-mendous machines!
  140. Why did the acorn become a poet? – It loved writing tree-mendous poems!
  141. Why did the acorn become a gardener? – It loved growing tree-mendous plants!
  142. Why did the acorn become a doctor? – It loved saving tree-mendous lives!
  143. Why did the acorn become a pilot? – It loved flying to tree-mendous heights!

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