72 museum jokes
- Why don’t you ever see statues playing hide-and-seek in a museum?
- Because they always get stuck in the same pose!
- What do you call a prehistoric exhibit that tells the best jokes?
- A dino-ROAR!
- Why did the painting go to jail?
- Because it was framed!
- Why did the mummy refuse to be placed in the museum?
- He couldn’t stand the sarcophagi!
- What do you call a sculpture who’s always late?
- Stone-cold delayed!
- Why did the artist bring his paintbrush to the museum?
- He wanted to brush up on his history!
- Why did the dinosaur skeleton go to the party?
- To have a blast from the past!
- What’s a museum guide’s favorite music genre?
- Exhibit-Hop!
- Why did the archaeologist go broke?
- Because his career was in ruins!
- Why was the painting a good listener?
- Because it was all ears!
- How do museum curators greet each other?
- “How do you curate?”
- Why did the painting go to therapy?
- It had too many layers!
- What do you call a statue with a bad attitude?
- A hard-headed art piece!
- Why did the painting take a nap?
- It was tired of being on the wall all day!
- Why did the thief steal a calendar from the museum?
- He wanted to take a year off!
- Why don’t museums allow high heels?
- Too much pressure on the ancient floor!
- How do you organize a space party?
- You planet in a museum!
- What do you call an artwork that doesn’t eat much?
- A light sketch!
- What does the T-Rex in the museum eat?
- Curator tots!
- Why don’t paintings get lost?
- Because they always know their canvas!
- What’s a museum’s favorite type of math?
- Geometry, because it’s all about the right angle!
- Why did the art museum install a new air conditioner?
- To keep the Monet from Degas!
- What do you call a cat that lives in a museum?
- A purrtrait!
- Why did the museum put the coffee machine on exhibit?
- It was brewing up history!
- What do you call a painting of a cat?
- A paw-trait!
- Why did the museum hire a gardener?
- To plant some artifact-choke hearts!
- What did the ancient pottery say to the archaeologist?
- Urn your respect!
- What do you call a nervous sculpture?
- A little on edge!
- Why did the painting go to the bank?
- It needed to make a Monet transfer!
- Why did the painting go on a diet?
- It had too many still lifes!
- Why don’t museums serve food?
- Because you can’t touch the artichoke!
- Why did the caveman go to the art museum?
- He had an appreciation for the earliest forms of “rock” music!
- What do you call a singing statue?
- A rock star!
- What’s a sculpture’s favorite type of music?
- Heavy metal!
- What do you call a painting that always tells the truth?
- A straight-up canvas!
- Why did the music lover go to the art museum?
- To see the “rock” exhibits!
- Why did the picture go to jail?
- Because it was a “still” life!
- What’s a museum curator’s favorite type of exercise?
- Artifact lifting!
- Why did the Egyptian exhibition go on a diet?
- It was in “de-Nile” about its weight!
- Why did the museum go to therapy?
- It had too many mummy issues!
- What do you call a tidy sculpture?
- A clean-cut work of art!
- Why did the painting go to the doctor?
- It had a stroke!
- What do you call a fish that lives in a museum?
- An artifact-fish!
- Why did the knight go to the museum?
- He wanted to get a little culture in his armor!
- Why did the archaeologist go to the museum?
- He had some bones to pick!
- What do you call a funny sculpture?
- A laughing stone!
- What’s an artwork’s favorite type of clothing?
- Sketchers!
- Why don’t paintings ever win races?
- They always get hung up at the start!
- Why did the historian bring a ladder to the museum?
- To reach the upper crust of society!
- Why was the abstract painting always confused?
- It couldn’t make heads or “tales” of itself!
- Why did the statue break up with the painting?
- They were in a rocky relationship and couldn’t picture a future together!
- What do you call an alligator in a vest at a museum?
- An investigator!
- What do you call a painting that doesn’t know its place?
- A mis-canvas!
- Why did the painting go to the party?
- To get a little drawn out!
- What do you call a painting that’s out of control?
- A wild sketch!
- What do you call a museum that only exhibits cheese?
- A curd-ator!
- Why was the archaeologist always happy at work?
- His job was always in ruins!
- Why did the curator refuse to play cards with the jungle cat exhibit?
- He was afraid of cheetahs!
- Why did the painting go to school?
- To get a little sketchy!
- Why did the archaeologist breakup with his girlfriend?
- Because he was looking for someone a little older!
- What did the museum say to the ancient artifact?
- “You’re history!”
- Why was the curator stressed out?
- Too many artifacts and not enough time!
- What did the sculpture say to the statue?
- “You rock!”
- What’s a museum’s favorite time of day?
- Knight time!
- Why don’t museums play hide and seek?
- Because the best art always stands out!
- What do you call a dinosaur that loves art?
- A dino-saur!
- What do you call an artist who sculpts with cereal?
- A cereal artist!
- What do you call a painting by a cat?
- A paw-sso!
- Why did the artist refuse to play chess?
- He was afraid of losing his Monet!
- Why did the archaeologist go to the bakery?
- He was in need of a good dig!
- Why don’t museums serve fast food?
- Because it’s not preserved well!
- Why do museums always feel rich?
- Because they are filled with Monet!