57+ jokes about cats

  1. Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
  2. What do you call a cat that throws things? A purr-petrator!
  3. Why are cats good at math? Because they’re pretty purr-suasive with their figures!
  4. Why did the cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse!
  5. What do you call a cat that wears make-up? Glamourpuss!
  6. Why did the cat join the circus? She was a born acro-cat!
  7. What’s a cat’s favorite song? “Three Blind Mice.”
  8. Why do cats never cheat? They’re afraid of being caught litter-handed!
  9. What is a cat’s favorite movie? “The Sound of Mewsic!”
  10. Why do cats always win video games? Because they have nine lives!
  11. How does a cat stop a video? By hitting the paws button!
  12. What do you call a cat that can play guitar? A musi-cat!
  13. Why don’t cats like online shopping? They prefer window shopping!
  14. What do you call a cat who can time travel? Doctor Mew!
  15. How do you know a cat is agitated? He’s having a hissy fit!
  16. Why do cats make poor DJs? They always hit the paws button!
  17. What’s a cat’s favorite breakfast? Mice Krispies!
  18. Why did the cat bring a fan to the baseball game? She heard the Tigers were playing!
  19. Why did the cat sit on the scale? She wanted to be a weigh-in!
  20. What do you call a cat that can bowl a perfect game? An alley cat!
  21. Why do cats dislike jokes about cats? Because they’re too purr-sonal!
  22. What do you call a cat that breaks into a bank? A purr-glar!
  23. Why did the cat join the Red Cross? She wanted to be a first-aid kit!
  24. Why do cats never get lost? Because they always pounce back!
  25. How do you know your cat has become a vegan? When she’s only chasing vegetable mice!
  26. What’s a cat’s favorite subject in school? Hisss-tory!
  27. Why don’t cats use smartphones? Too many bugs, not enough mice!
  28. What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
  29. What’s a cat’s favorite dessert? Mice cream!
  30. What do you call a cat who’s a beauty influencer? A glamourpuss!
  31. How can you tell when a cat is excited? Her purr-sonality starts to shine!
  32. Why did the cat wear a dress to the party? She was feline fancy!
  33. What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple!
  34. Why did the cat become a baker? She kneaded the dough!
  35. What do you call a cat who loves to dance? A disco kitten!
  36. What do you call a cat that’s a great swimmer? A cat-fish!
  37. How do cats stop crime? They become claw-enforcement!
  38. What do you call a cat in the military? A purr-ivate!
  39. Why did the cat wear a watch? She wanted to keep track of her meow-ments!
  40. Why don’t cats like to play hide and seek? They always get spotted!
  41. Why do cats make good detectives? Because they’re purr-sistent!
  42. Why do cats always get their way? They’re very purr-suasive!
  43. Why don’t cats like selfies? They prefer candid shots, it’s less whisker stress!
  44. What do you call a cat that does tricks? A magicat!
  45. Why don’t cats play basketball? They’re afraid of the net!
  46. What’s a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping!
  47. What do you call a cat with a lot of bling? A glamourpuss!
  48. What is a cat’s favorite Broadway show? Cats, obviously!
  49. How does a cat get what it wants? With a little purr-suasion!
  50. Why was the cat sitting on the computer? She wanted to be updated with the latest mews!
  51. How does a cat sing scales? DOE-ray-meow!
  52. What do you call a cat that can put together furniture from IKEA? Allen Wrench Kitty!
  53. Why did the cat take a nap on the computer? She wanted to sleep on the job!
  54. Why are cats bad storytellers? They only have one tale!
  55. How does a cat express its gratitude? It gives a purr-fect thank you!
  56. What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The Evening Mews!
  57. Why did the cat run away from the tree? It didn’t want to be a part of its bark!
  58. Why did the cat become a politician? He heard he could make a difference in the litter-ature!
  59. What do you call a cat that lives in the North Pole? A snowmeow!
  60. What’s a cat’s favorite type of music? Pop, because it makes them feline good!
  61. Why do cats avoid running with wolves? They don’t want to be part of a pack!
  62. Why did the cat bring a map to the party? She didn’t want to lose her purr-se!
  63. What do you call a cat that’s gone bad? A malfe-line-ant!
  64. Why do cats always stay up late? They’re afraid they’ll miss the mew-nset!
  65. Why did the cat refuse to play chess? She was a poor sport, always a sore paw-er!
  66. What do you call a cat who works in an office? A clerical cat!
  67. Why do cats always win beauty pageants? Because they’re simply purr-fect!
  68. Why do cats prefer to text instead of talk? They hate tele-purr-n communication!
  69. What do you call a cat who loves cleaning? A tidy tabby!
  70. What do you call a cat who’s an author? Edgar Allan Paw!
  71. Why did the cat join the army? She heard it was a great oppurrtunity!
  72. How do cats wish each other good night? Sweet dreams and whiskerful sleep!
  73. Why don’t cats make good secret agents? They always get distracted by the laser pointers!
  74. What do you call a cat who sells homes? A real estate moggy!
  75. How do cats communicate with spirits? They use a Ouija-purrd!
  76. What’s a cat’s favorite Shakespeare play? “Romeow and Juliet.”
  77. What do you call a cat who loves bowling? An alley-cat!
  78. Why do cats never laugh at jokes? They have a dry sense of mew-mor!
  79. How do you know your cat is a smart investor? She’s always talking about the purrcentage!
  80. What’s a cat’s favorite type of math? Geometry, because it’s all about the purr-meters!
  81. Why did the cat go to school? To become litter-ate!
  82. What do you call a cat that can balance a ball on its head? A circus kitten!
  83. Why are cats always so calm? They never let anything get under their fur!
  84. What do you call a cat that doesn’t follow the rules? A rebel lion!
  85. What’s a cat’s favorite button on the TV remote? The paws button!
  86. How do you know a cat is a good writer? She always has a unique purr-spective!
  87. Why do cats make great artists? Because they’re so good at drawing purr-traits!
  88. What do you call a cat that can pick up heavy things? A muscle moggie!
  89. What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus!
  90. Why did the cat go to medical school? She wanted to become a first aid kit!
  91. Why don’t cats use umbrellas? They’d rather just “purr” in the rain!
  92. What do you call a cat who loves to jump around? A kangaroo cat!
  93. Why are cats so good at video games? Because they’ve got purr-fect timing!
  94. Why don’t cats use laptops? They prefer to “mouse” around!
  95. What do you call a cat that keeps knocking things over? A disaster kitty!
  96. How does a cat ask for food? Can I have some more, purr-lease?
  97. Why do cats always land on their feet? Because they’re purr-fectly balanced!
  98. What is a cat’s favorite car? A Ferrar-meow!
  99. What’s a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? A purr-colator!
  100. What is a cat’s favorite exercise? Purr-lates!
  101. What’s a cat’s favorite cake? Purr-pound cake!
  102. Why did the cat get a ticket? He was littering!
  103. Why don’t cats play cards? Too many cheetahs!
  104. Why was the cat studying the map? To find the purr-fect location!
  105. How does a cat like his steak? Rare, with a side of mouse!
  106. What do you call a cat that loves to twerk? A shakey kitty!
  107. What do you call a cat who’s joined a band? A rockin’ kitty!
  108. Why do cats like to nap in the sun? They want to be hot-dogs for once!
  109. What do you call a cat that can do martial arts? A karate kitty!
  110. Why don’t cats ever back down from a fight? Because they’re very claw-tious!
  111. What is a cat’s favorite book? “The Great Catsby.”
  112. What do you call a cat that loves to play in the snow? A snow leopard!
  113. What’s a cat’s favorite type of art? Paw-trait painting!
  114. What do you call a cat who loves watching TV? A couch puma!
  115. What do you call a cat that can drive a car? A wheeling kitten!
  116. Why do cats like clean houses? Because they can’t stand a dirty litter box!
  117. Why don’t cats play football? They’re afraid of getting a penalty claw!
  118. What do you call a cat that does construction? A build-meow-er!
  119. What do you call a cat that loves fashion? A catwalk model!
  120. What do you call a cat that enjoys gardening? A garden-purr!
  121. Why do cats make great bosses? They’re very purr-suasive!
  122. What do you call a cat that does magic? A purr-dini!
  123. Why don’t cats like to race? They prefer a slow-purr speed!
  124. What do you call a cat that’s always on time? Purr-cisely right!
  125. What’s a cat’s favorite car? A Cat-illac!
  126. How does a cat get its own way? With purr-suasion!
  127. Why do cats love online shopping? They can shop till they drop, without dropping!
  128. What do you call a cat that’s great at bowling? A pin setter!
  129. What’s a cat’s favorite piece of clothing? A fur coat!
  130. What do you call a cat with a lot of energy? A dynamo-cat!
  131. What do you call a cat who’s taken up painting? Vincent Van Cat!
  132. Why did the cat get a job at the bakery? She kneaded the dough!
  133. Why don’t cats like computer games? They can’t handle the mouse!
  134. What do you call a cat who loves to sail? A catamaran!
  135. What do you call a cat with eight legs? An octo-puss!
  136. Why did the cat sit on the TV? She wanted to be on the big screen!
  137. What do you call a cat who loves to climb trees? A cat-squirrel!
  138. What do you call a cat that can play a piano? A piano mew-sician!
  139. Why did the cat become a banker? He was good at managing his purr-sonal finances!
  140. What do you call a cat who’s also a superhero? The Dark Knight Rises… and then naps!
  141. Why do cats hate lemonade stands? They’re afraid of sour pusses!
  142. What’s a cat’s favorite kitchen appliance? A can opener!
  143. What do you call a cat that does yoga? A zen kitten!
  144. Why do cats make terrible doctors? They always say, “take two mice and call me in the morning!”
  145. What do you call a cat that’s a great painter? A picatso!
  146. Why do cats always look so calm? They know how to be purr-sent!
  147. What do you call a cat who loves to play hide and seek? A hide and seekitten!
  148. What do you call a cat who loves astronomy? A star kitten!
  149. What do cats like to read in the morning? The mews-paper!
  150. Why are cats always so poised? They’re experts at purr-senting themselves!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *