57+ jokes about cats
- Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
- What do you call a cat that throws things? A purr-petrator!
- Why are cats good at math? Because they’re pretty purr-suasive with their figures!
- Why did the cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse!
- What do you call a cat that wears make-up? Glamourpuss!
- Why did the cat join the circus? She was a born acro-cat!
- What’s a cat’s favorite song? “Three Blind Mice.”
- Why do cats never cheat? They’re afraid of being caught litter-handed!
- What is a cat’s favorite movie? “The Sound of Mewsic!”
- Why do cats always win video games? Because they have nine lives!
- How does a cat stop a video? By hitting the paws button!
- What do you call a cat that can play guitar? A musi-cat!
- Why don’t cats like online shopping? They prefer window shopping!
- What do you call a cat who can time travel? Doctor Mew!
- How do you know a cat is agitated? He’s having a hissy fit!
- Why do cats make poor DJs? They always hit the paws button!
- What’s a cat’s favorite breakfast? Mice Krispies!
- Why did the cat bring a fan to the baseball game? She heard the Tigers were playing!
- Why did the cat sit on the scale? She wanted to be a weigh-in!
- What do you call a cat that can bowl a perfect game? An alley cat!
- Why do cats dislike jokes about cats? Because they’re too purr-sonal!
- What do you call a cat that breaks into a bank? A purr-glar!
- Why did the cat join the Red Cross? She wanted to be a first-aid kit!
- Why do cats never get lost? Because they always pounce back!
- How do you know your cat has become a vegan? When she’s only chasing vegetable mice!
- What’s a cat’s favorite subject in school? Hisss-tory!
- Why don’t cats use smartphones? Too many bugs, not enough mice!
- What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
- What’s a cat’s favorite dessert? Mice cream!
- What do you call a cat who’s a beauty influencer? A glamourpuss!
- How can you tell when a cat is excited? Her purr-sonality starts to shine!
- Why did the cat wear a dress to the party? She was feline fancy!
- What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple!
- Why did the cat become a baker? She kneaded the dough!
- What do you call a cat who loves to dance? A disco kitten!
- What do you call a cat that’s a great swimmer? A cat-fish!
- How do cats stop crime? They become claw-enforcement!
- What do you call a cat in the military? A purr-ivate!
- Why did the cat wear a watch? She wanted to keep track of her meow-ments!
- Why don’t cats like to play hide and seek? They always get spotted!
- Why do cats make good detectives? Because they’re purr-sistent!
- Why do cats always get their way? They’re very purr-suasive!
- Why don’t cats like selfies? They prefer candid shots, it’s less whisker stress!
- What do you call a cat that does tricks? A magicat!
- Why don’t cats play basketball? They’re afraid of the net!
- What’s a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping!
- What do you call a cat with a lot of bling? A glamourpuss!
- What is a cat’s favorite Broadway show? Cats, obviously!
- How does a cat get what it wants? With a little purr-suasion!
- Why was the cat sitting on the computer? She wanted to be updated with the latest mews!
- How does a cat sing scales? DOE-ray-meow!
- What do you call a cat that can put together furniture from IKEA? Allen Wrench Kitty!
- Why did the cat take a nap on the computer? She wanted to sleep on the job!
- Why are cats bad storytellers? They only have one tale!
- How does a cat express its gratitude? It gives a purr-fect thank you!
- What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The Evening Mews!
- Why did the cat run away from the tree? It didn’t want to be a part of its bark!
- Why did the cat become a politician? He heard he could make a difference in the litter-ature!
- What do you call a cat that lives in the North Pole? A snowmeow!
- What’s a cat’s favorite type of music? Pop, because it makes them feline good!
- Why do cats avoid running with wolves? They don’t want to be part of a pack!
- Why did the cat bring a map to the party? She didn’t want to lose her purr-se!
- What do you call a cat that’s gone bad? A malfe-line-ant!
- Why do cats always stay up late? They’re afraid they’ll miss the mew-nset!
- Why did the cat refuse to play chess? She was a poor sport, always a sore paw-er!
- What do you call a cat who works in an office? A clerical cat!
- Why do cats always win beauty pageants? Because they’re simply purr-fect!
- Why do cats prefer to text instead of talk? They hate tele-purr-n communication!
- What do you call a cat who loves cleaning? A tidy tabby!
- What do you call a cat who’s an author? Edgar Allan Paw!
- Why did the cat join the army? She heard it was a great oppurrtunity!
- How do cats wish each other good night? Sweet dreams and whiskerful sleep!
- Why don’t cats make good secret agents? They always get distracted by the laser pointers!
- What do you call a cat who sells homes? A real estate moggy!
- How do cats communicate with spirits? They use a Ouija-purrd!
- What’s a cat’s favorite Shakespeare play? “Romeow and Juliet.”
- What do you call a cat who loves bowling? An alley-cat!
- Why do cats never laugh at jokes? They have a dry sense of mew-mor!
- How do you know your cat is a smart investor? She’s always talking about the purrcentage!
- What’s a cat’s favorite type of math? Geometry, because it’s all about the purr-meters!
- Why did the cat go to school? To become litter-ate!
- What do you call a cat that can balance a ball on its head? A circus kitten!
- Why are cats always so calm? They never let anything get under their fur!
- What do you call a cat that doesn’t follow the rules? A rebel lion!
- What’s a cat’s favorite button on the TV remote? The paws button!
- How do you know a cat is a good writer? She always has a unique purr-spective!
- Why do cats make great artists? Because they’re so good at drawing purr-traits!
- What do you call a cat that can pick up heavy things? A muscle moggie!
- What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus!
- Why did the cat go to medical school? She wanted to become a first aid kit!
- Why don’t cats use umbrellas? They’d rather just “purr” in the rain!
- What do you call a cat who loves to jump around? A kangaroo cat!
- Why are cats so good at video games? Because they’ve got purr-fect timing!
- Why don’t cats use laptops? They prefer to “mouse” around!
- What do you call a cat that keeps knocking things over? A disaster kitty!
- How does a cat ask for food? Can I have some more, purr-lease?
- Why do cats always land on their feet? Because they’re purr-fectly balanced!
- What is a cat’s favorite car? A Ferrar-meow!
- What’s a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? A purr-colator!
- What is a cat’s favorite exercise? Purr-lates!
- What’s a cat’s favorite cake? Purr-pound cake!
- Why did the cat get a ticket? He was littering!
- Why don’t cats play cards? Too many cheetahs!
- Why was the cat studying the map? To find the purr-fect location!
- How does a cat like his steak? Rare, with a side of mouse!
- What do you call a cat that loves to twerk? A shakey kitty!
- What do you call a cat who’s joined a band? A rockin’ kitty!
- Why do cats like to nap in the sun? They want to be hot-dogs for once!
- What do you call a cat that can do martial arts? A karate kitty!
- Why don’t cats ever back down from a fight? Because they’re very claw-tious!
- What is a cat’s favorite book? “The Great Catsby.”
- What do you call a cat that loves to play in the snow? A snow leopard!
- What’s a cat’s favorite type of art? Paw-trait painting!
- What do you call a cat who loves watching TV? A couch puma!
- What do you call a cat that can drive a car? A wheeling kitten!
- Why do cats like clean houses? Because they can’t stand a dirty litter box!
- Why don’t cats play football? They’re afraid of getting a penalty claw!
- What do you call a cat that does construction? A build-meow-er!
- What do you call a cat that loves fashion? A catwalk model!
- What do you call a cat that enjoys gardening? A garden-purr!
- Why do cats make great bosses? They’re very purr-suasive!
- What do you call a cat that does magic? A purr-dini!
- Why don’t cats like to race? They prefer a slow-purr speed!
- What do you call a cat that’s always on time? Purr-cisely right!
- What’s a cat’s favorite car? A Cat-illac!
- How does a cat get its own way? With purr-suasion!
- Why do cats love online shopping? They can shop till they drop, without dropping!
- What do you call a cat that’s great at bowling? A pin setter!
- What’s a cat’s favorite piece of clothing? A fur coat!
- What do you call a cat with a lot of energy? A dynamo-cat!
- What do you call a cat who’s taken up painting? Vincent Van Cat!
- Why did the cat get a job at the bakery? She kneaded the dough!
- Why don’t cats like computer games? They can’t handle the mouse!
- What do you call a cat who loves to sail? A catamaran!
- What do you call a cat with eight legs? An octo-puss!
- Why did the cat sit on the TV? She wanted to be on the big screen!
- What do you call a cat who loves to climb trees? A cat-squirrel!
- What do you call a cat that can play a piano? A piano mew-sician!
- Why did the cat become a banker? He was good at managing his purr-sonal finances!
- What do you call a cat who’s also a superhero? The Dark Knight Rises… and then naps!
- Why do cats hate lemonade stands? They’re afraid of sour pusses!
- What’s a cat’s favorite kitchen appliance? A can opener!
- What do you call a cat that does yoga? A zen kitten!
- Why do cats make terrible doctors? They always say, “take two mice and call me in the morning!”
- What do you call a cat that’s a great painter? A picatso!
- Why do cats always look so calm? They know how to be purr-sent!
- What do you call a cat who loves to play hide and seek? A hide and seekitten!
- What do you call a cat who loves astronomy? A star kitten!
- What do cats like to read in the morning? The mews-paper!
- Why are cats always so poised? They’re experts at purr-senting themselves!