150 hammer jokes
- Why don’t hammers ever get lost? Because they always nail their location!
- Why did the hammer get promoted? Because it nailed the interview.
- What do you call a hammer that doesn’t work? A “hammer-geddon.”
- What did the nail say to the hammer? “You always hit the nail on the head!”
- Why did the hammer break up with the nail? It got tired of being hit on.
- Why was the hammer kicked out of the toolbox? It was always pounding.
- Why do hammers never win at poker? They always get nailed to the board.
- How does a hammer ask for food? Nail me a sandwich!
- Why are hammers bad storytellers? They only have one punch line.
- Why don’t hammers use computers? They’re afraid of Windows.
- What did the soft drink say to the hammer? Stop! Hammer time!
- Why did the hammer visit the doctor? It had a pounding headache.
- Why don’t hammers play hide and seek? They always stick out.
- What’s a hammer’s favorite game? Whack-a-nail.
- What do you call a hammer without a handle? Useless.
- What’s a hammer’s favorite song? “Hit Me Baby One More Time”.
- Why don’t hammers go on dates? They’re afraid of getting hammered.
- What did the hammer say to the screw? “You’re twisted!”
- What do you call a very wise hammer? A “hammer-sage.”
- Why don’t hammers go to school? They already have a lot of hits.
- How does a hammer break up with its girlfriend? “It’s not you, it’s me… I can’t nail this relationship.”
- Why was the baby hammer upset? It got grounded for hitting its siblings.
- What do hammers eat for breakfast? Nails and toast.
- What do you call a hammer that fixes things? A hammer-dexterous.
- Why did the hammer get kicked out of the library? It was too loud!
- What do you call a hammer in space? A “space nailer.”
- What did the hammer say to the mirror? “I can see myself nailing it!”
- Why was the hammer arrested? It was involved in a hit and run.
- What do you call a hammer that’s good at maths? A “calculator.”
- What’s a hammer’s favorite movie? “Nail It Like Beckham.”
- Why did the hammer join the gym? To get iron fit.
- What’s a hammer’s favorite dance move? The hammer slide.
- What do you call a hammer that’s a detective? Sherlock Hammers.
- What’s a hammer’s favorite type of sandwich? A “club.”
- Why don’t hammers go to the circus? They’re scared of the jugglers.
- How does a hammer apologize? “I didn’t mean to nail you that hard.”
- What’s a hammer’s favorite day of the week? “Smash-day.”
- What do you call a hammer that always tells the truth? A “hammer-est.”
- What did the hammer say to the joke? “You nailed it!”
- Why was the hammer on the computer? It heard about the latest “hardware” updates.
- What did the hammer say to the nail’s proposal? “I’m just not ready to take the plunge.”
- How does a hammer propose? “Will you be my nail forever?”
- What do you call a hammer that always gets its way? A “hammer-tive.”
- Why did the hammer sit on the bench? It needed a break from nailing it.
- What’s a hammer’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal.
- How does a hammer say goodbye? “See you on the nail-head!”
- Why did the hammer visit the therapist? It was feeling a little pounded.
- What’s a hammer’s favorite drink? “Punch.”
- Why don’t hammers participate in debates? They’re always getting hammered.
- What do you call a hammer who can’t hit nails? A “hammer-crastinator.”
- What’s a hammer’s favorite form of poetry? Haik-hammer.
- Why don’t hammers play baseball? They’re afraid of striking out.
- What do you call a hammer in a horror film? A “hammer-ity.”
- Why don’t hammers play the piano? They always hit the wrong key.
- What do you call a royal hammer? “Your Hammer-jesty.”
- What’s a hammer’s favorite pick-up line? “Did it hurt when you fell from the toolbox?”
- Why did the nail file a restraining order against the hammer? It was getting too hammered.
- What’s a hammer’s life motto? “Keep hitting until you get it right!”
- What do you call a lonely hammer? “Single-hit.”
- What do you call a hammer that can sing? “Hammer-ade.”
- How does a hammer flirt? “Can I nail your number?”
- Why was the hammer’s book a bestseller? It was a “smash hit.”
- Why don’t hammers play chess? They always lose their pawns.
- What’s a hammer’s favorite type of party? A “smash bash.”
- What did the judge say to the naughty hammer? “You’re out of order!”
- Why don’t hammers perform in theaters? They can’t handle the drama.
- How does a hammer stay fit? By doing “hammer-curls.”
- What’s a hammer’s favorite superhero? Thor, the God of Thunder and Hammers.
- Why don’t hammers work in offices? They can’t handle the paperwork.
- What do you call a hammer’s autobiography? “Life of a Hitman.”
- Why was the hammer a good politician? It always nailed its speeches.
- What do you call a hammer at a construction site? “Workplace motivation.”
- Why did the hammer become a baker? It wanted to “knead” dough.
- What did the hammer say to the overworked nail? “Hang in there, buddy!”
- What’s a hammer’s favorite game show? “The Price is Right.”
- Why don’t hammers get along with screws? They have a twisted sense of humor.
- What do you call a hammer that practices yoga? “Hammer-sana.”
- Why did the hammer go to jail? It was caught in possession of “nail” substances.
- What did the hammer say to the wood? “It’s nothing personal, just business.”
- Why was the hammer a good musician? It always hit the right note.
- Why was the hammer a good comedian? It knew the art of “punch” lines.
- What did the hammer say to the glass? “I could shatter you!”
- What do you call a hammer that tells scary stories? “Hammer-goblin.”
- Why did the hammer visit the dentist? It had a “toothache.”
- What do you call a hammer that’s anartist? “Hammer-casso.”
- What do you call a hammer in a rock band? “Heavy metal hammer.”
- What did the psychologist say to the hammer? “You’ve got to stop beating yourself up.”
- What do you call a sleepy hammer? “Hammer-zzz.”
- What did the hammer say to the bell? “You’ve got a nice ring to you!”
- Why did the hammer win the lottery? It always hits the jackpot.
- What did the hammer say to the wall? “You’re next!”
- What did the drill say to the hammer? “You’re too blunt!”
- What’s a hammer’s favorite vegetable? Smash potatoes.
- Why did the hammer get sent to the principal’s office? It was caught passing notes.
- What do you call a hammer that has seen it all? A “hammer-veteran.”
- What’s a hammer’s favorite sport? Boxing – they love the knockout punch.
- What do you call a hammer that can dance? A “hammballerino.”
- Why did the hammer go to the moon? To become a lunar nailer.
- How does a hammer do its taxes? By nailing down all the details.
- What’s a hammer’s favorite fast food? Smashburger.
- Why was the hammer the best detective? It always struck the truth.
- What do you call a friendly hammer? “Hammer-able.”
- What did the nail say to the romantic hammer? “Stop trying to hit on me!”
- Why did the hammer go to the concert? To see the band “Smash Mouth.”
- What did the hammer say to the scalpel? “You’re too cutting edge for me!”
- Why was the hammer a good baseball player? It always knew how to make a hit.
- What did the screwdriver say to the hammer? “You’re always making a point!”
- What do you call a hammer that’s an actor? Hammer-lin Monroe.
- What’s a hammer’s favorite type of clothing? Button-ups, they’re always nailing it.
- Why did the hammer become a carpenter? It was the only job it could nail.
- What’s a hammer’s favorite TV show? “Home Improvement.”
- Why don’t hammers like to gossip? They’d rather hit the nail on the head.
- What do you call a hammer that’s an illusionist? “Hammerni.”
- Why don’t hammers like fast food? They prefer to “nail” their meals at home.
- What do you call a hammer that works in Hollywood? “Hammer-azzi.”
- What’s a hammer’s favorite type of literature? Pounding prose.
- Why was the hammer a good referee? It knew when to call a foul.
- What do you call a hammer in a band? The beatmaster.
- Why did the hammer start a podcast? It wanted to hit the airwaves.
- What do you call a hammer that’s good at everything? A “hammer of all trades.”
- Why don’t hammers go swimming? They sink like a nail.
- What do you call a hammer that’s an environmentalist? “Eco-hammer.”
- What did the hammer say to the thumb? “Sorry, wrong target!”
- What’s a hammer’s favorite type of pie? Pecan – it’s nutty just like them.
- Why did the hammer fail its driving test? It had a habit of smashing into things.
- What’s a hammer’s favorite salad? Smashroom salad.
- What’s a hammer’s favorite type of pasta? Nailed-itini.
- Why did the hammer become a fashion designer? It had a flair for the material.
- What do you call a hammer at a disco? A slam dancer.
- Why don’t hammers watch TV? They’re always making their own hits.
- What’s a hammer’s favorite type of candy? Jawbreakers.
- What do you call a hammer in a race? A nail sprinter.
- Why did the hammer join the navy? To become a part of the Seal team.
- What’s a hammer’s favorite type of dog? A bulldog – they love the tough ones.
- What do you call a hammer that loves to climb? A peak pounder.
- What do you call a hammer that can cook? Hammer Ramsay.
- What’s a hammer’s favorite hobby? Breaking the ice.
- What did the hammer say to the clock? “Time to strike!”
- What’s a hammer’s favorite animal? A hammerhead shark.
- What did the hammer say to the singing nail? “You’ve got a hit!”
- Why did the hammer become a gardener? It wanted to plant some roots.
- What’s a hammer’s favorite type of tree? The ash – it’s hard and sturdy.
- Why don’t hammers like to jog? They prefer hitting the gym.
- Why was the hammer a good journalist? It always struck a scoop.
- What do you call a hammer that loves to travel? A globe smasher.
- What did the hammer say to the skydiver? “You’re really nailing the landing!”
- What’s a hammer’s favorite subject in school? History – they love epic battles.
- Why did the hammer go to the party? To get hammered.
- What do you call a hammer in a courtroom? A legal smasher.
- And finally, why did the hammer write these jokes? It wanted to make a smashing impression!