100 flooding jokes

  1. Why don’t floods make good comedians? Because their jokes are always watered down!
  2. What did the flood say to the river? “You crack me up!”
  3. Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast, and you can’t cast a flood!
  4. What’s a flood’s favorite type of music? R&B…Rivers and Brooks!
  5. What do you call a flood that has rhythm? A liquid dance!
  6. Why don’t floods play poker? They’re afraid of high stakes and high tides!
  7. Why are floods always calm? Because they’ve found their flow!
  8. What does a flood do at a party? It raises the bar!
  9. What’s a flood’s favorite game? Bridge!
  10. Why did the flood break up with its girlfriend? She said he was too shallow!
  11. Why can’t floods be bakers? They always make soggy bread!
  12. Why don’t floods play chess? Because they can’t tell a king from a rook!
  13. How does a flood get around town? It streams the traffic!
  14. What do you call a flood with no water? A dry spell!
  15. Why are floods terrible at hide and seek? Because they always spill the beans!
  16. What does a flood do when it’s tired? It river rests!
  17. Why don’t floods write books? Because they have trouble with the current events!
  18. How does a flood fix a flat tire? It calls a tow wave!
  19. Why do floods make terrible drivers? They always overflow the parking space!
  20. Why did the flood go to school? To improve its current knowledge!
  21. What’s a flood’s favorite day of the week? Water-day (Wednesday)!
  22. Why don’t floods play basketball? They always miss the basket and hit the net!
  23. Why don’t floods make good secret agents? Because you can see right through them!
  24. What’s a flood’s favorite exercise? Rowing!
  25. What do you call a confused flood? Dis-oriented!
  26. Why do floods make bad teammates? They always steal the streamlight!
  27. How does a flood flirt? It says, “Are you a dam, because I’m falling for you!”
  28. What’s a flood’s favorite song? “Rain Drops Keep Falling on My Head”!
  29. Why do floods never win at Monopoly? They can’t handle the bank!
  30. What’s a flood’s favorite snack? Wafer-thin crackers!
  31. Why don’t floods use social media? They’re not great with current technologies!
  32. How does a flood pay for dinner? With liquid assets!
  33. Why don’t floods wear glasses? They can’t handle the pressure!
  34. What’s a flood’s favorite movie? “The Deep End”!
  35. Why did the flood go to the gym? To keep in the flow of things!
  36. What did the flood say to the raindrop? “Welcome to the family!”
  37. Why can’t floods be lawyers? They don’t have a solid argument!
  38. What’s a flood’s favorite sport? Water polo!
  39. Why do floods love the circus? Because of the water clowns!
  40. Why did the flood never laugh at the snowflake? Because it had a cold sense of humor!
  41. Why don’t floods get along with deserts? They’re too dry for their taste!
  42. What does a flood and a comedian have in common? Both have great timing!
  43. Why do floods never win at poker? They always show their river!
  44. What’s a flood’s favorite dance? The splash dance!
  45. Why don’t floods get invited to picnics? They always bring uninvited guests!
  46. Why did the flood take a vacation? It wanted to sea the world!
  47. What’s a flood’s favorite animal? A water buffalo!
  48. Why do floods make bad cops? They let everything slide!
  49. What do you call a flood that’s a great cook? A broth-er!
  50. How do floods say hello? Water you up to?
  51. What did the flood say to the drought? “You need to go with the flow!”
  52. What does a flood take when it has a headache? Stream relief!
  53. Why do floods never get lost? They always follow the current!
  54. Why can’t floods be detectives? They always let clues slip through!
  55. What’s a flood’s favorite board game? Watership Down!
  56. Why did the flood fail the math test? It couldn’t handle the pressure!
  57. How does a flood propose? With a wave ring!
  58. Why do floods make bad librarians? They always dampen the books!
  59. What’s a flood’s favorite type of sandwich? Anything with a lot of liquid cheese!
  60. Why don’t floods join the army? They can’t handle the drills!
  61. What do you call a flood that’s an artist? A watercolorist!
  62. What’s a flood’s favorite type of poetry? Free verse, because it flows!
  63. Why can’t floods be musicians? They have trouble keeping the beat!
  64. How do floods keep their hair in place? With a tidal wave of gel!
  65. Why can’t floods be electricians? They cause too many shocks!
  66. What’s a flood’s favorite type of shoes? Water-proof boots!
  67. Why do floods make bad journalists? They have a hard time drying up the facts!
  68. Why did the flood visit the psychiatrist? It felt it had too much on its plate!
  69. What do you call a flood that’s always late? A procrastinator!
  70. What’s a flood’s favorite candy? Lifesavers – they’re always floating around!
  71. Why don’t floods use calendars? They just go with the flow!
  72. How does a flood apologize? It says “I didn’t mean to rain on your parade!”
  73. Why can’t floods play baseball? They always slide home!
  74. What’s a flood’s favorite dessert? Anything that’s dripping with flavor!
  75. Why do floods hate running? They don’t like getting out of breath!
  76. What’s a flood’s favorite hobby? Surfing the web!
  77. How do floods get ready for a party? They make a splash!
  78. Why don’t floods get haircuts? They fear they might drain out!
  79. What’s a flood’s favorite clothing brand? River Island!
  80. What’s a flood’s favorite type of tea? Chamomile – it’s so soothing!
  81. Why can’t floods be chefs? They always boil over!
  82. Why do floods hate summer? They can’t stand the heat!
  83. How do floods celebrate birthdays? With a splashy party!
  84. What do you call a fashionable flood? A trendsetter!
  85. Why can’t floods be firefighters? They’re too good at fueling fires!
  86. What’s a flood’s favorite type of car? Anything that can ford a river!
  87. Why can’t floods play tennis? They can’t serve to save their life!
  88. What’s a flood’s favorite type of bread? Sourdough, it’s got a tangy kick!
  89. Why do floods make bad doctors? They can’t stop the bleeding!
  90. What’s a flood’s favorite place to relax? By the poolside!
  91. Why can’t floods work at a bank? They always cause a liquidity crisis!
  92. What do you call a flood in a hurry? In over its head!
  93. Why can’t floods work in a library? They always make too much noise!
  94. What’s a flood’s favorite fruit? Watermelon!
  95. Why can’t floods be magicians? They can’t pull a rabbit out of their hat!
  96. What’s a flood’s favorite type of math? Fluid dynamics!
  97. Why don’t floods work in offices? They can’t handle the paperwork!
  98. What’s a flood’s favorite type of coffee? Americano – it’s all watered down!
  99. Why can’t floods be tailors? They can’t thread a needle!
  100. How do floods keep their cool? They chill out at the beach!

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