141 elvis jokes

  1. Why did Elvis stop singing in the shower? He kept getting all shook up!
  2. Why did Elvis refuse to go fishing? He didn’t want to get caught in a trap.
  3. Why don’t they let Elvis play hide and seek? Because even a hound dog could find him!
  4. Why did Elvis never talk in his sleep? Because he didn’t want to be caught in a conversation.
  5. Why did Elvis always bring a spatula to the concert? Because he loved to flip out!
  6. What’s Elvis’s favorite type of sandwich? A peanut butter and “jellyhouse rock.”
  7. Why did Elvis bring his guitar to the gym? He wanted to rock and “roll”.
  8. Why was Elvis a terrible soccer player? He couldn’t stop shaking his hips.
  9. Why did Elvis always win at poker? Because he had a “blue suede shoe-in”.
  10. Why didn’t Elvis like playing cards in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
  11. What did Elvis say when he saw a ghost? “You’re the devil in disguise!”
  12. Why did Elvis go to space? To visit the “Heartbreak Satellite”.
  13. How did Elvis catch a cold? He left his blue suede shoes out in the rain!
  14. What did Elvis say when he forgot his lyrics? “It’s now or never!”
  15. What do you call Elvis after he’s eaten too much? Elvis Pudgely.
  16. What did Elvis do when his house burned down? He went to live in the Heartbreak Hotel.
  17. Why did Elvis refuse to play chess? Because the King is always in danger.
  18. What was Elvis’s favorite planet? Mars, because it’s always “All Shook Up”.
  19. Why did Elvis always carry a map? Because he was always “Lost in the 50s”.
  20. Why did Elvis refuse to ride in a hot air balloon? He didn’t want to be “way up there.”
  21. How did Elvis react when he was told to slow down? He said, “Don’t be cruel”.
  22. Why didn’t Elvis use GPS? Because he preferred following the “Suspicious Minds”.
  23. Why did Elvis take up gardening? He wanted to plant some “Blue Hawaii”.
  24. Why was Elvis terrible at baseball? Because he thought “Love me Tender” was a type of pitch.
  25. What’s Elvis’s favorite place to eat breakfast? At the “Hound Dog Cafe”.
  26. What do you call Elvis at a construction site? The “King of Drywall”.
  27. Why was Elvis always well-rested? Because he slept at the “Heartbreak Hotel”.
  28. Why did Elvis make a bad referee? Because he kept saying “It’s Now or Never” in a tie game.
  29. What’s Elvis’s favorite kind of candy? Jailhouse Rock candy.
  30. Why did Elvis take up painting? To create his own “Blue Hawaii”.
  31. Why did Elvis go to the bakery? To get a loaf of “Love Me Tender” bread.
  32. Why did Elvis not like running marathons? Because he got all shook up.
  33. Why did Elvis always have clean laundry? Because he had a “Suspicious Mind” about stains.
  34. How does Elvis prefer his coffee? Shook up, not stirred.
  35. Why did Elvis make a bad magician? Because he couldn’t “Return to Sender” any of his tricks.
  36. What did Elvis say when he first got on a horse? “I’m in love…I’m all shook up!”
  37. Why did Elvis not make a good chef? Because he kept burning his “Blue Suede” steaks.
  38. Why did Elvis never cut down trees? He didn’t want to be a “Wooden Heart”.
  39. Why did Elvis make a bad teacher? He believed in “Don’t Be Cruel” discipline.
  40. Why did Elvis always bring a guitar to the beach? He wanted to be a “Beach Boy” too.
  41. What do you call Elvis in a snowstorm? “Chillyhouse Rock”.
  42. Why did Elvis go to school? To get a little less conversation, a little more action.
  43. Why did Elvis refuse to play football? He didn’t want to be tackled by a “Hound Dog”.
  44. Why did Elvis hate getting his haircut? Because he was afraid of losing his “Crowning Glory”.
  45. Why did Elvis never become a lawyer? Because he could never pass the “Bar of Love”.
  46. Why did Elvis not play cricket? Because he was afraid of the “Burning Love” of the sun.
  47. Why was Elvis never good at high jump? He was always too “All Shook Up”.
  48. Why did Elvis prefer cats over dogs? Because a cat never called him a “Hound Dog”.
  49. What do you call Elvis when he’s scared? “Fraidy Cat”.
  50. Why did Elvis not make a good pilot? He was always in the “Mystery Train”.
  51. Why did Elvis make a poor detective? He was always “Lost in the 50s”.
  52. What do you call Elvis in a boxing ring? “The Contender”.
  53. Why didn’t Elvis want to go to the moon? He feared he’d be a “Hound Dog” in space.
  54. Why did Elvis become a singer? Because he was “Born to Rock”.
  55. Why did Elvis never finish his puzzles? Because he was “Stuck on You”.
  56. Why did Elvis refuse to join the army? He didn’t want to be in the “G.I. Blues”.
  57. Why did Elvis not like the desert? It was too “Hot Dog” for him.
  58. Why did Elvis never eat spicy food? He didn’t want to feel the “Burning Love”.
  59. Why didn’t Elvis take up yoga? Because he couldn’t stop shaking his hips.
  60. What do you call Elvis in a library? “The Reader”.
  61. Why did Elvis not make a good carpenter? He was always “Hammering Love”.
  62. Why did Elvis refuse to go to the dentist? Because he didn’t want to see the “King Creole” drill.
  63. What’s Elvis’s favorite type of math? Algebra, because he was always “All Shook Up” by equations.
  64. Why did Elvis refuse to play pool? He didn’t want to be “Behind the Eight Ball”.
  65. Why was Elvis a bad fisherman? He always fell for the “Bait of Love”.
  66. Why did Elvis never make a good pilot? He couldn’t “Return to Sender” in a straight line.
  67. Why didn’t Elvis ever go skiing? He didn’t want to “Slip, Slide and Away”.
  68. Why was Elvis never a good gardener? He could never find his “Green, Green Grass of Home”.
  69. Why didn’t Elvis ever drive a tractor? He was afraid of the “G.I. Blues”.
  70. Why did Elvis never become a lifeguard? He couldn’t stop the “Blue Waves” from crashing.
  71. Why didn’t Elvis make a good sailor? He was always “Lost on the Blue Ocean”.
  72. Why did Elvis never go camping? He didn’t want to sleep in the “Jungle Room”.
  73. Why did Elvis always lose at darts? Because his aimwas “All Shook Up”.
  74. Why didn’t Elvis ever play chess? He was too afraid of losing his “King” status.
  75. Why did Elvis always wear a belt? To avoid a “Jailhouse Rock” fashion faux pas.
  76. Why didn’t Elvis ever learn to code? Because he was too busy “Coding in the Chapel”.
  77. Why did Elvis make a bad librarian? He couldn’t stop singing “Quiet Please” in the stacks.
  78. Why did Elvis never run for president? He already had the title of “King”.
  79. Why did Elvis always carry a comb? Because he was “Stuck on You”.
  80. What’s Elvis’s favorite fruit? Blueberries, because they remind him of his “Blue Suede Shoes”.
  81. Why didn’t Elvis make a good judge? He always said “Don’t be Cruel” to the defendants.
  82. Why did Elvis never become an astronaut? He was afraid he would float around “In the Ghetto”.
  83. Why did Elvis refuse to play golf? He didn’t want to be in the “Roughhouse Rock”.
  84. Why did Elvis always wear sunglasses? He was “Blinded by Love”.
  85. Why didn’t Elvis like vegetables? He was always “All Shook Up” by broccoli.
  86. Why did Elvis never become a doctor? He couldn’t handle the “Heartbreak Hotel”.
  87. Why didn’t Elvis ever join a chess club? Because he could never say “checkmate” without singing.
  88. Why didn’t Elvis like coffee? It made him feel like a “Hound Dog”.
  89. Why did Elvis never play Monopoly? He didn’t want to go to “Jailhouse Rock”.
  90. Why did Elvis make a poor cook? He kept burning his “Blue Hawaii” pizzas.
  91. Why did Elvis refuse to go camping? He didn’t want to sleep in the “Tent-house Rock”.
  92. Why didn’t Elvis ever play poker? Because he was afraid of the “Cardhouse Rock”.
  93. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a baker? He was always “All Shook Up” by yeast.
  94. Why did Elvis make a poor farmer? He was always singing to the “Cornhouse Rock”.
  95. Why did Elvis refuse to play basketball? He was afraid of the “Hoop-house Rock”.
  96. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a weatherman? He didn’t want to predict the “Rainhouse Rock”.
  97. Why did Elvis always lose at tic-tac-toe? He was always aiming for the “X-house Rock”.
  98. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a scientist? He didn’t want to be in the “Lab-house Rock”.
  99. Why did Elvis always eat at the same restaurant? He didn’t want to leave the “Diner-house Rock”.
  100. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a pirate? He didn’t want to be in the “Ship-house Rock”.
  101. Why did Elvis always use a treadmill? He didn’t want to run in the “Park-house Rock”.
  102. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a gardener? He was afraid of the “Bug-house Rock”.
  103. Why did Elvis always lose at pool? He kept trying to pocket the “Eight-house Rock”.
  104. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a fisherman? He didn’t want to be in the “Boat-house Rock”.
  105. Why did Elvis always get lost in the city? He was always in the “Street-house Rock”.
  106. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a tailor? He didn’t want to be in the “Sew-house Rock”.
  107. Why did Elvis always have a clean house? He didn’t want to live in the “Dirt-house Rock”.
  108. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a zookeeper? He didn’t want to work at the “Zoo-house Rock”.
  109. Why did Elvis always fail at cooking? He was always burning the “Pot-house Rock”.
  110. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a truck driver? He didn’t want to be in the “Truck-house Rock”.
  111. Why did Elvis always paint his house? He was afraid of the “Paint-house Rock”.
  112. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a plumber? He was afraid of the “Pipe-house Rock”.
  113. Why did Elvis always miss his bus stop? He was always in the “Bus-house Rock”.
  114. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a teacher? He was afraid of the “Schoolhouse Rock”.
  115. Why did Elvis always lose at chess? He was always trying to save the “King-house Rock”.
  116. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a jeweler? He didn’t want to work with the “Gem-house Rock”.
  117. Why did Elvis always get lost in the museum? He was always in the “Art-house Rock”.
  118. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a reporter? He didn’t want to work at the “News-house Rock”.
  119. Why did Elvis always wear his hair long? He didn’t want to be in the “Barberhouse Rock”.
  120. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a firefighter? He was afraid of the “Firehouse Rock”.
  121. Why did Elvis always get lost at sea? He was always in the “Sea-house Rock”.
  122. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a mailman? He didn’t want to work at the “Mail-house Rock”.
  123. Why did Elvis always bring a guitar to parties? He was afraid of the “Party-house Rock”.
  124. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a locksmith? He didn’t want to work in the “Lock-house Rock”.
  125. Why did Elvis always fail at gardening? He was afraid of the “Plant-house Rock”.
  126. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a photographer? He didn’t want to be in the “Photo-house Rock”.
  127. Why did Elvis always forget his lines? He was always in the “Script-house Rock”.
  128. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a mechanic? He was afraid of the “Garage-house Rock”.
  129. Why did Elvis always mess up his laundry? He was always in the “Wash-house Rock”.
  130. Why didn’t Elvis ever become an architect? He didn’t want to be in the “Blueprint-house Rock”.
  131. Why did Elvis always forget his keys? He was always in the “Key-house Rock”.
  132. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a painter? He was afraid of the “Canvas-house Rock”.
  133. Why did Elvis always lose at board games? He was always in the “Game-house Rock”.
  134. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a zookeeper? He was afraid of the “Animal-house Rock”.
  135. Why did Elvis always forget his shopping list? He was always in the “Shop-house Rock”.
  136. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a watchmaker? He was afraid of the “Clock-house Rock”.
  137. Why did Elvis always mess up his makeup? He was always in the “Makeup-house Rock”.
  138. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a dentist? He was afraid of the “Tooth-house Rock”.
  139. Why did Elvis always forget his lines? He was always in the “Line-house Rock”.
  140. Why didn’t Elvis ever become a judge? He was afraid of the “Court-house Rock”.
  141. Why did Elvis always mess up his cooking? He was always in the “Cook-house Rock”.

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