150 celery jokes
- Why did the celery go to the party? Because it’s a stalk-er.
- Why didn’t the celery get the job? They said he couldn’t cut it.
- Why did the celery break up with the cucumber? It had too many pickles.
- Why was the celery a great comedian? It always cracked everyone up.
- What’s a celery’s favorite type of math? Stalk-ometry.
- Why did the celery go to jail? It stalked its ex.
- Why did the celery go to the orchestra? It heard there would be a good “stalk”-erto.
- What’s a celery’s favorite clothing brand? Stalk-holm.
- Why is celery the best at hide and seek? Because it always sticks to the stalk.
- What is a celery’s favorite movie? Lord of the Stalks.
- Why was the celery never lonely? Because it always had stalk-ers.
- What did the celery say to the mushroom at the bar? You’re a fun-gi but I’m just here for the stalk-tails.
- What’s a celery’s favorite position in soccer? Stalk-er.
- Why did the celery turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
- What do you call a celery that sings? A stalk-arotti.
- Why is celery terrible at secrets? You can see right through them!
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the celery stalk!
- Why was the celery good at school? It was always on the honor stalk.
- What do you call a celery in an electric socket? Shock-ery.
- Why don’t celery make good detectives? Because they always end up in a stalk-mate.
- Why did the celery get a trophy? It was outstanding in its field.
- How does celery win a race? It stalks ahead.
- Why is celery the best baseball player? It always stalks home.
- What do you call a celery that became a lawyer? A stalk-licitor.
- Why did the celery go to college? To become a brain-stalk.
- What do you call a celery that is a part of a music band? A rock-ery.
- Why is a celery the best matchmaker? It knows all the stalk.
- What did the celery say to the carrot? Lettuce go together.
- Why is celery bad at poker? You can’t deal with stalks.
- Why did the celery refuse to play cards with the jungle cats? Because he was afraid of cheetahs.
- How does celery apologize? It says: “I’m stalky.”
- What does celery use to write? A stalk of chalk.
- Why did the celery cross the road? To escape the chicken stalk soup!
- What do you call a talented celery? A stalk of genius.
- Why do celeries make great journalists? They always stalk the truth.
- How does a celery start its morning? With a cup of coffee and a stalk of the news.
- What do you call a celery that is an artist? A stalk-etcher.
- Why do celeries go to therapy? To talk about their stalk-issues.
- How does a celery say goodbye? It waves its stalk.
- What’s a celery’s favorite rock band? The Rolling Stalks.
- What’s a celery’s favorite type of music? Stalk n roll.
- Why don’t celeries ever win at chess? They always get into a stalkmate.
- What’s a celery’s favorite type of story? A fairy-stalk.
- Why was the celery a terrible tennis player? It always stalked at the net.
- What’s a celery’s favorite type of painting? A stalk-scape.
- Why was the celery an excellent politician? It always stalked straight.
- What do you call a movie about a celery? A stalk-umentary.
- Why is celery the best roommate? They always stalk quietly.
- What do you call a celery that’s gone bad? A stalk offender.
- Why is celery a bad storyteller? It always stalks in circles.
- Why was the celery always broke? It kept spending all its stalk.
- How do you organize a celery party? You stalk it up.
- Why did the celery join the army? It wanted to stalk up on discipline.
- Why was the celery an excellent stockbroker? It knew when to stalk up.
- What’s a celery’s favorite type of poetry? A stalk-ade.
- Why did the celery go on a diet? It felt a bit stalk-y.
- Why was the celery a good negotiator? It was always stalk and stone.
- Why did the celery stop dating the onion? It couldn’t take the peel anymore.
- What’s a celery’s favorite exercise? Stalk-lates.
- Why was the celery always calm? It mastered the art of stalk-meditation.
- Why was the celery a good actor? It knew how to stalk a scene.
- Why did the celery get promoted? It knew how to stalk up to its boss.
- Why was the celery an excellent writer? It had a great stalk of imagination.
- Why do celeries make good detectives? They always stalk out the truth.
- What’s a celery’s favorite type of building? A stalk-raper.
- What’s a celery’s favorite type of novel? A stalk-er thriller.
- What’s a celery’s favorite type of dance? Stalk-ey dance.
- Why did the celery break up with the corn? It was just too corny.
- What do you call a celery that practices magic? A stalk-erer.
- What do you call a celery who tells tall tales? A stalk-exaggerator.
- Why did the celery join the debate team? It was great at stalk-umentation.
- Why did the celery win the beauty pageant? It had the best stalk-walk.
- Why was the celery a great philosopher? It always had a stalk of wisdom.
- Why did the celery get kicked out of school? It was caught stalk-ing.
- Why did the celery go to the library? To check out the latest book-stalk.
- What do you call a celery that plays chess? A stalk-mate.
- Why did the celery become a police officer? It wanted to stalk and protect.
- What do you call a celery that predicts the future? A stalk-seer.
- Why did the celery go to the opera? It wanted to hear the stalk-tet.
- Why was the celery a good manager? It always kept stalk of everything.
- Why did the celery join the circus? It was a stalk-tumbler.
- What’s a celery’s favorite type of fabric? Stalk-silk.
- Why was the celery a good gardener? It had a green stalk.
- What do you call a celery that’s a great baker? A stalk-flour.
- What do you call a celery in a spaceship? A stalk-tronaut.
- Why did the celery win the lottery? It had the lucky stalk.
- Why was the celery always ready for winter? It knew how to stalk up for the cold.
- What do you call a celery that builds things? A stalk-itect.
- Why did the celery become a stand-up comedian? It liked stalk-comedy.
- What’s a celery’s favorite board game? Stalk-ers.
- Why was the celery good at boxing? It always had a strong stalk.
- What do you call a celery that’s a movie director? A stalk-maker.
- What’s a celery’s favorite type of dog? A stalk-er spaniel.
- Why was the celery a great magician? It was a master of stalk and deception.
- What do you call a celery that’s a doctor? A stalk-tor.
- Why did the celery start a band? It wanted to stalk the charts.
- What’s a celery’s favorite type of holiday? A stalk-cation.
- Why did the celery become a rapper? It wanted to stalk about its life.
- What do you call a celery that’s a great dancer? A stalk-star.
- What’s a celery’s favorite type of bird? A stalk.
- Why did the celery go to the beach? To stalk up on sun.
- Why was the celery an excellent chef? It had a great stalk of recipes.
- Why did the celery join a dating app? It was looking for the perfect stalk-mate.
- Why did the celery refuse to play poker with the cats? It knew they were a bunch of cheetahs.
- Why was the celery a great teacher? It always knew how to keep stalk of students.
- What’s a celery’s favorite superhero? Stalk-man.
- Why did the celery become a florist? It had a knack for flower stalks.
- What do you call a celery that’s a skilled fisherman? A stalk-caster.
- Why did the celery start a business? It wanted to stalk up on wealth.
- Why did the celery get a stopwatch? It wanted to keep stalk of time.
- What’s a celery’s favorite type of tree? A stalk-tree.
- Why was the celery a great pilot? It knew how to stalk the course.
- Why did the celery become a psychologist? It wanted to understand the human stalk.
- Why was the celery an excellent sailor? It knew how to stalk the deck.
- What do you call a celery that’s a talented singer? A stalk-erato.
- Why did the celery become a jeweler? It had an eye for gem-stalks.
- What do you call a celery that’s an archaeologist? A stalk-digger.
- What’s a celery’s favorite type of weather? Stalk-y.
- Why was the celery a great goalkeeper? It was the best at stalk-ing goals.
- Why did the celery become a mathematician? It loved number stalks.
- What do you call a celery that’s a talented poet? A stalk-et.
- Why did the celery become a mountain climber? It loved high stalks.
- Why was the celery a great explorer? It always stalked new territories.
- What do you call a celery that’s a knight? Sir Stalk-a-lot.
- Why did the celery become a journalist? It loved stalk-eries.
- Why was the celery a great engineer? It knew how to stalk structures.
- Why did the celery become a historian? It loved old stalks.
- What do you call a celery that’s a great writer? Stalk-speare.
- Why was the celery a great scientist? It loved to stalk experiments.
- What do you call a celery that’s a skilled mechanic? A stalk-tician.
- Why did the celery become a photographer? It loved to stalk moments.
- Why was the celery a great painter? It loved color stalks.
- Why did the celery become an astronaut? It loved space stalks.
- What do you call a celery that’s a wizard? A stalk-romancer.
- Why did the celery become a film director? It loved cinematic stalks.
- What do you call a celery that’s a movie star? A stalk-lebrity.
- Why was the celery a great chess player? It knew the power of a pawn stalk.
- What do you call a celery that’s a talented musician? A stalk-phonist.
- Why did the celery become a fashion designer? It loved style stalks.
- What do you call a celery that’s a skilled baker? A stalk-tisan.
- Why was the celery a great athlete? It loved competition stalks.
- What do you call a celery that’s a philosopher? Stalk-rates.
- Why did the celery become a movie critic? It loved film stalks.
- What do you call a celery that’s a marine biologist? A stalk-topus.
- Why was the celery a great gardener? It loved plant stalks.
- What do you call a celery that’s a meteorologist? A stalk-storm.
- Why did the celery become a meteorologist? It loved weather stalks.
- What do you call a celery that’s a geologist? A stalk-rock.
- Why was the celery a great architect? It loved building stalks.
- What do you call a celery that’s a chef? A stalk-chef.