76 calculus funny jokes
- Why don’t we talk to Pi? Because he never knows when to stop.
- Why was the calculus book always unhappy? Because it had too many problems.
- Why do mathematicians like parks? Because of all the natural logs.
- Why did the mathematician refuse to work with negative numbers? He couldn’t deal with the negativity.
- What does the derivative say to the function? Stop being so sensitive!
- Why did the student get upset after his calculus exam? He realized that he had left his answers in his other pair of pants.
- Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots.
- Why did the function break up with its derivative? It was feeling too derived.
- What do you call a teapot of boiling water at the top of a mountain? High-pot-in-use.
- Why don’t we allow constants in this bar? Because we don’t serve minors.
- Why was the math lecture so long? Because the professor had a lot of points to make.
- Why did the mathematician go broke? Because he couldn’t count on his income.
- Why was the math book stressed? Because it had too many problems.
- Why did the limit go to the party? Because he wanted to be where the functions stop.
- How does a math professor propose? With a polynomial ring.
- What did one math book say to the other? Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
- Why did the angle go to school? Because it wanted to be acute one.
- What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? You can’t, the mosquito is a vector and the mountain climber is a scalar!
- How do you call a one-sided nudist beach? A natural boundary.
- Why was the function a poor musician? It had no rhythm.
- Why don’t you ever argue with Pi? Because it’s irrational and it never ends!
- Why did the derivative go to jail? Because it was found guilty of dealing with the slope!
- Why did e^x bring a map to the math party? Because it couldn’t find its way in real numbers.
- What do you get if you differentiate a cow? Prime Rib.
- Why did the constant break up with the variable? Because they thought they were being taken for granted.
- Why don’t mathematicians need to go to the beach? Because they already have sine and cosine to get a tan.
- What do you get when you integrate an empty space? A lot of constant integration.
- What’s the integral of 1/cabin with respect to cabin? A natural log cabin!
- Why was e^x sad at the party? Because everyone found their function but he couldn’t.
- Why was the function feeling so negative? Because it was less than everything else.
- What do you call a young angle? Acute angle.
- Why was the calculus teacher so good at tennis? Because he had the perfect serve.
- Why did the polynomial go to therapy? Because it had too many degrees of freedom.
- What is the first derivative of a cattle stampede? Cow-herd velocity!
- Why did the function go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t feeling well-defined.
- Why did the mathematician refuse to calculate the derivative? Because he didn’t want to stoop to low limits.
- Why do mathematicians never get sunburned? They always stay under the curves.
- What is the integral of “r” with respect to “r”? 0.5*r^2, the area of a circle!
- Why was the calculus student thrown out of the equation party? Because he couldn’t integrate.
- What do you call an angle that is adorable? Acute angle.
- Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems.
- What do you call a destroyed angle? A rect-angle.
- Why do some people find math hard? Because it has too many problems.
- Why did the mathematician become a tree surgeon? Because he was great at finding roots.
- What do you call a number that loves to party? A party pi!
- What do you call a snake that’s 3.14 feet long? A π-thon.
- Why did the math teacher visit the beach? To find some tan lines.
- Why did the calculus student fail his exam? He had too many limits.
- Why did the function never reach its limit? It had infinite issues.
- What’s a mathematician’s favorite dessert? Apple Pi!
- Why did the student get bad grades in calculus? He couldn’t function without coffee.
- Why did the math student bring a ladder to class? He was trying to reach high derivatives.
- Why did the constant break up with the variable? It felt taken for granted.
- What do you call the number 7 and the number 3 when they go out on a date? The odd couple (because 7 and 3 are both prime numbers).
- Why was the equation feeling imbalanced? It lost its constants.
- Why did the mathematician go to the beach? To find the tan of the sun.
- Why did the calculus teacher go on a diet? She wanted to reduce her derivatives.
- What do you call a mathematical owl? A “Hoo-dini” because it’s always disappearing into the night, much like our calculus grades.
- Why couldn’t the angle get a loan? Its parents wouldn’t Cosine.
- What’s a mathematician’s favorite exercise? Sine-ups!
- Why did the math teacher bring a ladder to school? She knew she had to go to some extreme heights to teach calculus.
- Why was the math student stressed? Because he found himself in a complex plane.
- Why did the student get kicked out of math class? He had too many radical ideas.
- Why couldn’t the math student watch the baseball game? He couldn’t find the base in logarithms.
- What’s the difference between a calculus exam and a Hollywood epic? The latter has a happy ending.
- Why don’t the two 4’s talk anymore? Because they squared off.
- Why did the math teacher take up gardening? He wanted to grow some roots.
- Why did the math teacher become a fisherman? Because he loved the line of work.
- Why did the math student become a baker? He loved working with dough-rations.
- Why did the constant ask the variable out on a date? Because it felt a certain attraction.
- What’s the mathematical way to serve dinner? Plate it up in portions.
- Why did the mathematician paint his dog? Because he wanted to graph the bark.
- Why did the constant become an actor? It loved to remain in character.
- Why did the math book become a lawyer? Because it was great at presenting cases.
- Why did the calculus student become a priest? He wanted to find his higher power.
- Why did the math teacher go crazy? He couldn’t find the root of his problems.