40 alfred e neuman quotes
Alfred E.
Neuman, the mascot of MAD magazine, is known for his distinctive look and the famous motto “What, me worry?” Here are some of his most memorable lines and sayings attributed to him over the years:
- “What, me worry?”
- “You can be on the right track and still get hit by a train.”
- “We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.”
- “Today, if you want to be a millionaire, it’s best to start off as a billionaire.”
- “Most people don’t act stupid — it’s the real thing.”
- “We must all get along — we only have one planet.”
- “Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.”
- “Some minds are like concrete: thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.”
- “Why is it that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?”
- “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”
- “The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.”
- “If you don’t care where you are, then you ain’t lost.”
- “Progress is always a step backward — usually in front.”
- “Getting old is when your dreams start costing less than your plans.”
- “We are the people our parents warned us about.”
- “There is always room at the top — after you eat through the bottom.”
- “A penny saved is a government oversight.”
- “Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun.”
- “Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?”
- “What you see is what you get — unless it’s not.”
- “The most dangerous thing in the world is to be right when the government is wrong.”
- “If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.”
- “We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.”
- “It’s amazing how much ‘mature wisdom’ resembles being too tired.”
- “The one thing money can’t buy is poverty.”
- “Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when you’re finished.”
- “Don’t let the past remind us of what we are not now.”
- “When all else fails, lower your standards.”
- “If at first, you don’t succeed, well, so much for skydiving.”
- “A fool and his money are soon partying.”
- “The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in school was my blood alcohol content.”
- “My mind is made up, don’t confuse me with the facts.”
- “Who says nothing is impossible? I’ve been doing nothing for years.”
- “The only reason people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.”
- “We’re all self-made, but only the successful will admit it.”
- “The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
- “We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.”
- “Always borrow money from a pessimist. They won’t expect it back.”
- “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”
- “If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”
These quotes embody the satirical and often absurd humor that Alfred E.
Neuman and MAD magazine are known for.
They highlight the mascot’s humorous perspective on life, society, and human nature.
