82 pecan jokes
- Why don’t pecans ever go out on a date? Because they’re nuts about staying home!
- Why did the pecan go to the party? To shell out some fun!
- What do you call a pecan that takes over the world? A nut-ocrat.
- Why did the pecan go to therapy? It had a shell of a time dealing with its problems!
- Why did the pecan stop rolling down the hill? It got tired of being a nutcase!
- How do pecans say goodbye? “Shell ya later!”
- Why was the pecan at the police station? Because it was a nutty suspect!
- What’s a pecan’s favorite type of music? Shell-n-B!
- Why do pecans never win races? Because they always crack under pressure!
- Why did the pecan refuse to play cards with the peanuts? It was afraid of being roasted!
- Why don’t pecans ever get promoted? They’re always in a shell!
- What do you call a pecan with no shell? Absolutely nuts!
- What did the pecan say to the walnut? “You crack me up!”
- Why do pecans never get lost? Because they always know their roots!
- Why did the pecan go to the dentist? Because it had a bad case of nut rot!
- Why did the pecan join the army? To serve its country to the core!
- What do you call a pecan that’s good at math? A square root!
- What do pecans use to call their friends? Shell-phones!
- Why did the pecan cross the road? Because it was nuts about adventure!
- Why do pecans always show up late? They’re always getting cracked!
- What’s a pecan’s favorite subject in school? History, they love learning about their roots!
- How does a pecan propose? It gets down on one knee and says, “Will you marry me, or am I nuts?”
- Why did the pecan go to the doctor? It felt a little nutty!
- What’s a pecan’s favorite dance? The Nutcracker!
- Why don’t pecans ever get lonely? Because they’re always in good company!
- What did the pecan say to its crush? “I’m nuts about you!”
- Why are pecans terrible at playing hide and seek? They always crack under pressure!
- Why are pecans the smartest nuts? They always do well in shell.
- Why did the pecan go to the gym? It wanted to be a tough nut to crack!
- What did the pecan say when it finished its meal? “That was nut-ritionally satisfying!”
- Why did the pecan get arrested? It was involved in a shell game!
- Why do pecans never start a fight? They prefer peace-and-quiet!
- Why do pecans always stick together? They’re shell mates!
- How do pecans stay in shape? By doing shell-calisthenics!
- Why don’t pecans make good detectives? They always crack under questioning!
- Why are pecans always at the bottom of the bag? They like to root around!
- What do you call a pecan who can sing? A nut-tenor!
- Why don’t pecans ever play hide and seek? They’re always getting picked!
- How do pecans like their coffee? Au nut-urale!
- What do you call a group of dancing pecans? A shell-ebration!
- What do you call a pecan that can’t make up its mind? Inde-cisive!
- Why do pecans always win at chess? They’re always a move ahead!
- Why was the pecan kicked out of the library? It was causing too much shell-abaloo!
- What do you call a pecan in space? An astronut!
- What do pecans do when they’re scared? They shell-ter in place!
- Why don’t pecans ever get cold? They always have their shells on!
- What did the pecan say to the almond? “You’re almond-st as good as me!”
- What’s a pecan’s favorite book? “The Nutcracker!”
- Why do pecans never get bored? They’re always in-shell-tained!
- How do pecans communicate? They use shell-ular devices!
- Why are pecans bad at baseball? They always drop the ball!
- What do you call a pecan who loves to read? A booknut!
- What do pecans say before a race? “May the best nut crack!”
- Why did the pecan go to school? To get a little more nut-ucation!
- What do you call a pecan in the orchestra? A con-ductor!
- Why did the pecan start a band? It wanted to be a rockstar!
- Why don’t pecans ever get scared? They’re hard-shelled!
- Why did the pecan go to the spa? It wanted to be pam-shell-pered!
- What’s a pecan’s favorite movie? “The Nut Job!”
- Why do pecans hate rain? It gets them all shell-shocked!
- How do pecans apologize? They say “I’m nut sorry!”
- Why are pecans always in fashion? They always have a fresh shell!
- Why did the pecan break up with the almond? It was a tough nut to crack!
- What do you call a flying pecan? A heli-nut!
- What do pecans do for fun? Nut-thing much!
- Why do pecans like to exercise? They’re fitness nuts!
- How do pecans say hello? “Shell-o there!”
- Why do pecans never get stressed? They always take it shell-owly!
- Why do pecans hate the winter? They get shell-ivery!
- What did the pecan say to the mirror? “Shell-o, gorgeous!”
- Why are pecans great comedians? They always crack people up!
- Why do pecans make terrible actors? They can’t stop cracking up!
- What do you call a pecan with a cold? A s-nut-zle!
- What do pecans wear to formal events? Shell-suits!
- Why do pecans always finish their homework on time? They’re hard workers to the core!
- Why do pecans never get in trouble? They always behave shell-f!
- Why don’t pecans make good bosses? They’re always cracking up!
- What do you call a pecan with a job? Employ-nut!
- Why do pecans always fail at hide and seek? They’re easy to crack!
- Why don’t pecans ever get mad? They always keep their cool!
- What’s a pecan’s favorite time of the year? Fall, when they can finally drop!
- What do pecans use to fix their problems? Nut tools!