83 radish jokes
- Why did the radish get a ticket? Because it didn’t turnip at the stop sign!
- What do you call a fast radish? A radish racer!
- Why did the radish go to school? To get a little “root” education!
- Why don’t radishes ever play hide and seek? Because they always turnip!
- What’s a radish’s favorite type of music? Root rock!
- Why did the radish go to therapy? It couldn’t handle the beet!
- Why did the radish blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What’s a radish’s favorite dance? The mashed potato!
- What do you call a radish that can play the piano? A root-ical genius!
- Why did the radish break up with the potato? It felt taken for “granite”!
- Why did the radish join the gym? It wanted to work on its roots!
- How does a radish stop a movie? It presses “paws”!
- What’s a radish’s favorite type of math? Square roots!
- What do you call a radish with a cold? A little horse-radish!
- Why was the radish good at tennis? Because it always made a good serve!
- How do radishes get their news? From the daily beet!
- Why did the radish go to the art exhibition? It was a fan of Vincent Van Gogh-urt!
- Why did the radish get a promotion? It was outstanding in its “field”!
- Why don’t radishes tell secrets? Because they can’t keep anything bottled up!
- How do radishes write their essays? With a root processor!
- What did the grape say to the radish? Stop “wine”-ing!
- What do you call a radish that tells jokes? A comedy “root-ine”!
- What did the radish say to the cucumber? Lettuce have a good time!
- Why do radishes never lie? They can’t beet around the bush!
- How does a radish apologize? It turns up with a sorry look!
- Why did the radish start a blog? It wanted to root for its thoughts!
- What’s a radish’s favorite book? Great Ex-pectations!
- Why did the radish go to the concert? To hear the Beet-les!
- What does a radish do on its day off? Chills out and beets it!
- Why are radishes bad at playing cards? Because they’re always getting beet!
- What did the radish say to the bully? Lettuce be friends!
- Why did the radish never win at chess? It always fell into traps!
- How does a radish keep its hair in place? With vegeta-gel!
- What did the radish say at the party? I’m here to turnip the beet!
- Why did the radish go to the ballet? To see the Nut-cracker!
- What did the radish wear to the prom? A three-piece “root”!
- Why was the radish always chosen for teams? It had a lot of roots!
- How does a radish get its groove back? By listening to the Beet-les!
- What did the radish say to the DJ? Turnip the beet!
- Why don’t radishes get lost? They always turnip!
- What do radishes use to fix their radios? A tuber!
- Why did the radish go to the dentist? It had a root canal!
- What do you call a radish that can sing? A beet-boxer!
- What did the radish say when it won the lottery? I’m in the green now!
- What’s a radish’s favorite holiday? Christmas, because of Santa Claus-trophobia!
- How does a radish ask for food? Can you pass the salad, peas?
- Why did the radish join the choir? It wanted to hit the high notes!
- What’s a radish’s favorite movie? The Great Gats-pea!
- What do radishes wear to bed? Their rootie pajamas!
- Why was the radish a good musician? It had great beet control!
- Why was the radish late for dinner? It got beet in traffic!
- What did the radish say at the football game? Go long, I’m open!
- What do radishes wear to a fancy event? Their best suit-and-tie-dye!
- Why did the radish become a detective? It loved to root out the truth!
- What do you call a radish who won the lottery? A rich-ard!
- What’s a radish’s favorite weather? A light drizzle!
- Why did the radish go to the opera? It wanted to see the Phantom of the Okra!
- How does a radish keep its skin smooth? With a little cucumber lotion!
- What’s a radish’s favorite day of the week? Fry-day!
- Why was the radish bad at baseball? It always got beet to the base!
- Why do radishes love sunsets? They’re suckers for a good beet-drop!
- What do radishes use to pay for things? Their greenbacks!
- Why was the radish bad at golf? It always ended up in the sand-wedge!
- Why did the radish get an award? For outstanding contribution in the field!
- What’s a radish’s favorite TV show? The X-Roots!
- Why did the radish become a boxer? It had a mean punch!
- What’s a radish’s favorite superhero? Iron Plant!
- Why did the radish cross the road? To get to the other “side-dish”!
- What did the radish say after a long day at work? I’m beet!
- What’s a radish’s favorite sport? Root-ball!
- Why did the radish get in trouble? It was caught red-handed!
- What’s a radish’s favorite ice cream flavor? Straw-berry!
- Why did the radish fail its driving test? It couldn’t handle the pressure!
- How does a radish say goodbye? “Root-a-loo”!
- What did the radish say during yoga class? “I’m feeling the beet!”
- What did the radish get at the barbershop? A trim!
- What’s a radish’s favorite mode of transportation? The beet-boat!
- What do you call a radish that’s gone bad? A spoil-sport!
- Why did the radish go to the doctor? It had a case of the crudités!
- Why was the radish a good gardener? It knew how to turnip the soil!
- What do you call a fashionable radish? A trend-setter!
- Why did the radish join a band? To play the beet-drum!
- Why was the radish bad at poker? It couldn’t keep a poker face!