150 ikea jokes

1. Why don’t they play hide and seek in IKEA? It’s impossible to find the exits.
2. What do you call an IKEA product that you assembled correctly on the first try? A miracle!
3. How does an IKEA worker say goodbye? “Bïldskë you later!”
4. Why did the IKEA bookcase go to therapy? It had a lot of shelves to work through.
5. What do you call a horror movie set in IKEA? “The Allen Wrench Project.”
6. Why did the IKEA employee get a promotion? He was outstanding in his flat-pack field.
7. Why don’t IKEA employees play chess? Because they’re still trying to assemble the board.
8. What’s an IKEA product’s favorite song? “I Will Always Love Yü.”
9. Why did the IKEA table go to school? To get a little edjumöcation.
10. What’s an IKEA product’s favorite breakfast? Scrambled eggs with a side of screwdrivers.
11. What do you call an emotional IKEA furniture? A Sofå King Säd.
12. What did one IKEA shelf say to the other? “I feel like I’ve been put together backwards.”
13. Why did the IKEA chair go to the party? It heard it was a sit-down event.
14. What did the IKEA coffee table say to the lamp? “You light up my life!”
15. Why don’t IKEA employees go to lunch? They’re still trying to find their way out of the store.
16. How did the IKEA chair become a detective? It was always getting to the bottom of things.
17. Why did the IKEA employee get sent to HR? He was caught skirting his duties.
18. Why was the IKEA bed so modest? It didn’t want to be caught without its covers.
19. What do you call an IKEA instruction manual? A guide to Swedish wrestling.
20. Why do IKEA employees never play poker? Because they can’t deal with it.
21. What’s an IKEA lamp’s favorite genre? Light reading.
22. What’s the favorite game of IKEA shelves? Board games.
23. How do you make an IKEA employee laugh? Tell them a flat-pack joke.
24. Why was the IKEA mirror so popular? It was quite reflective.
25. What do IKEA products and Shakespeare have in common? Tragicomedy in every assembly.
26. Why don’t IKEA employees make good musicians? They keep losing the key.
27. How did the IKEA dresser win the race? It always knew the drawers.
28. Why do IKEA employees never throw a surprise party? Because you have to assemble it yourself.
29. Why do IKEA bookcases always make the best detectives? Because they always know where the dust jacket is.
30. Why did the IKEA desk go to the doctor? It had a bad case of table-itis.
31. What’s an IKEA clock’s favorite movie? “Time to Assemble.”
32. Why was the IKEA chair so good at yoga? It was flexible and could always hold a pose.
33. What do you call an IKEA employee with a screwdriver? Armed and dangerous!
34. Why did the IKEA bed go to the bakery? It kneaded a new comforter.
35. What do you call an IKEA product that tells time? A Tik-Töc.
36. What’s an IKEA stool’s favorite dance? Step dancing.
37. Why do IKEA instructions make bad chefs? They always skip a step.
38. How does an IKEA product flirt? “Is your name Allen? Because you’re wrenching my heart.”
39. What’s an IKEA chair’s favorite TV show? “Game of Thrones.”
40. What’s the IKEA dresser’s favorite song? “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire.”
41. Why was the IKEA table so musical? It had perfect pitch, A Table Clef.
42. Why did the IKEA sofa go to the opera? It was a fan of tenor, baritone, and base.
43. How do you apologize to an IKEA shelf? Say “I’m sorry for all the dust.”
44. Why do IKEA beds make terrible secret keepers? They always squeak.
45. Why don’t IKEA tables make good comedians? They always fall flat.
46. How do you know if an IKEA employee is a fan of Star Wars? They use the “Förce.”
47. What do you call an IKEA product that doubles as a spy? A Covert-Öp.
48. What’s the favorite subject of an IKEA bookcase? History, it loves a good book.
49. Why was the IKEA lamp the best at hide and seek? It always knew where to shed light.
50. What did the IKEA chair say to the table? “Don’t take it personally, but everyone walks all over you.”
51. Why don’t IKEA products play soccer? They’re afraid of getting a screw loose.
52. What’s an IKEA wardrobe’s favorite movie? “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.”
53. Why did the IKEA shelf go to the gym? It wanted to work on its plank.
54. Why do IKEA lamps make great storytellers? They always know how to lighten up a story.
55. How do IKEA products communicate? They flat-pack!
56. Why did the IKEA coffee table become a therapist? Because it was good at offering support.
57. What do you call a sleep-deprived IKEA employee? A Nigh-Stand.
58. Why was the IKEA chair a good listener? It was always supporting you.
59. What’s the IKEA wardrobe’s favorite horror movie? “Clothes Encounters of the Third Kind.”
60. Why don’t IKEA products make good athletes? They’re always on the bench.
61. Why did the IKEA lamp get promoted? It was brilliant!
62. Why do IKEA employees make great detectives? They’re good at piecing things together.
63. Why do IKEA instructions make bad maps? They always lead you in circles.
64. What do you call an IKEA product that can sing? A Bïlli Board Top 100.
65. How did the IKEA bed become a magician? It always knew the trick to a good night’s sleep.
66. What did the IKEA shelf say to its therapist? “I just can’t hold it together anymore.”
67. Why did the IKEA table go on a diet? It felt too round.
68. How do IKEA products stay fit? They do a lot of heavy lifting.
69. What’s an IKEA couch’s favorite hobby? Lounge singing.
70. Why don’t IKEA products make good dancers? They always have two left feet.
71. What do you call a missing IKEA screw? A situation that’s become unhinged.
72. Why did the IKEA chair join a band? It heard they needed more seats.
73. What do you call an IKEA product that hosts a talk show? A Chät-Höst.
74. What did the IKEA desk say to the chair? “Pull yourself together.”

75.Why did the IKEA dresser join a marathon?

It was a good drawer.

76. What’s the IKEA bookcase’s favorite mystery novel? “The Case of the Missing Screw.”
77. Why don’t IKEA products go to the beach? They don’t want to get sand in their screws.
78. How does an IKEA wardrobe get ready for a date? It changes its drawers.
79. What do you call an IKEA product that’s been in a fight? Battle-scarred-en.
80. Why did the IKEA sofa go to the psychiatrist? It felt unsofasticated.
81. What’s the IKEA chair’s favorite movie? “Seatless in Seattle.”
82. How do you compliment an IKEA bed? Tell it it’s dreamy.
83. Why don’t IKEA tables make good matchmakers? They always leave you on the edge.
84. What do you call an IKEA product that’s a good conversationalist? A chattypöint.
85. How did the IKEA table learn to swim? It just went with the flow.
86. Why did the IKEA lamp quit its job? It wasn’t feeling enlightened.
87. Why was the IKEA shelf always chosen for teams? It was never picked last.
88. Why don’t IKEA products play baseball? They’re always on strike.
89. How does an IKEA bookcase keep its figure? It stays lean on books.
90. What’s an IKEA desk’s favorite song? “Work From Home.”
91. Why did the IKEA chair get an award? It was outstanding in its field.
92. Why don’t IKEA products go to parties? They don’t want to be the wallflowers.
93. What do you call an IKEA product with good rhythm? A Beätbox.
94. How do IKEA wardrobes stay warm? They have good insulation.
95. Why was the IKEA bed the best at soccer? It always knew how to bunk the goalie.
96. How does an IKEA product show gratitude? It gives you a standing ovation.
97. Why don’t IKEA products make good poets? They always screw up the rhythm.
98. What’s the IKEA wardrobe’s favorite band? The Doors.
99. Why did the IKEA chair go to school? It wanted to become a straight-A student.
100. What do you call an IKEA product that’s good at maths? A Countertöp.
101. How do IKEA products meditate? They focus on their inner peace.
102. Why did the IKEA bed become a chef? It always had a recipe for comfort.
103. Why don’t IKEA products make good soldiers? They always fall apart under pressure.
104. What’s an IKEA lamp’s favorite sport? Enlightening fast cricket.
105. What do you call an IKEA product with a sense of humor? A Jökester.
106. How did the IKEA table become a detective? It always knew the lay of the land.
107. Why do IKEA products make good philosophers? They have a lot of depth.
108. How does an IKEA chair show its love? It offers you comfort.
109. What’s an IKEA bed’s favorite hobby? Dreamcatching.
110. Why did the IKEA wardrobe go to the theater? It wanted to watch a clothes-captioned performance.
111. Why don’t IKEA products make good friends? They’re always falling apart.
112. How do IKEA shelves stay in shape? They work out at the library.
113. Why did the IKEA lamp go to the art museum? It wanted to see the light exhibit.
114. What’s an IKEA product’s favorite superhero? Screwdriver Man.
115. How did the IKEA chair become a superhero? It had the power of reclining.
116. Why don’t IKEA products make good actors? They always forget their lines.
117. What’s an IKEA wardrobe’s favorite weather? When it’s cloudy with a chance of meatballs.
118. Why did the IKEA shelf join the circus? It wanted to become a tightrope walker.
119. How does an IKEA product wish you good morning? It shines a light on your day.
120. Why was the IKEA bed always chosen as a team leader? It was a bedrock of support.
121. How does an IKEA shelf propose? With a diamond ring binder.
122. What’s an IKEA desk’s favorite dessert? Table sugar cookies.
123. Why did the IKEA chair break up with the table? It felt taken for granted.
124. How do IKEA products stay informed? They always check the instruction news.
125. Why don’t IKEA products make good marathon runners? They always lose their screws.
126. What’s an IKEA product’s favorite pastime? Basking in the living room light.
127. How did the IKEA lamp become a painter? It had a bright palette.
128. What do you call an IKEA product with a broken leg? A Liimp.
129. How does an IKEA product get to work? It rides the bookcase bus.
130. What’s an IKEA table’s favorite genre of music? Pop, because it’s always on the surface.
131. Why did the IKEA shelf become a fashion designer? It had a good sense of style and decor.
132. Why don’t IKEA products make good musicians? They can’t handle the pressure.
133. What’s an IKEA chair’s favorite drink? Seat-tea.
134. How did the IKEA lamp become a gardener? It was good at shedding light on things.
135. Why don’t IKEA products make good teachers? They can’t stand up straight.
136. What’s an IKEA wardrobe’s favorite story? The Emperor’s New Clothes.
137. Why did the IKEA chair join a choir? It had the perfect pitch.
138. How does an IKEA product get a promotion? By being a stand-up piece.
139. What’s an IKEA bed’s favorite game? Bedminton.
140. Why don’t IKEA products make good doctors? They’re always losing their patience.
141. How does an IKEA product celebrate its birthday? By having a light-up party.
142. Why was the IKEA lamp always chosen as a dance partner? It knew how to light up the floor.
143. What’s an IKEA desk’s favorite type of cake? Marble-top cake.
144. Why did the IKEA chair go to the police? It was tired of being sat on.
145. How does an IKEA product say goodbye? “Bolt you later!”
146. What’s an IKEA wardrobe’s favorite reality TV show? Project Runway.
147. Why don’t IKEA products make good sailors? They can’t hold their water.
148. What’s an IKEA lamp’s favorite novel? Light in August.
149. Why did the IKEA chair become a poet? It was good at versification.
150. What do you call an IKEA product in a fitness competition? A Flëx.