141 emt jokes

  1. Why did the EMT cross the road? To check on the chicken’s vital signs.
  2. How do you know an EMT is at a party? When you hear someone yell, “clear!”
  3. Why don’t paramedics play hide and seek? They always find you.
  4. Why did the EMT bring a red pen to a car crash? In case they had to draw blood.
  5. What’s an EMT’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat.
  6. What do you call an ambulance that tells jokes? A humorr-ulance.
  7. Why do EMTs always carry a map? They can’t resist the urge to “vein” navigate.
  8. Why did the EMT always carry scissors? He wanted to cut straight to the diagnosis.
  9. Why was the paramedic always calm? They knew how to keep their “pressure” under control.
  10. Why did the EMT take up gardening? He had a knack for saving “lives” and plants.
  11. What do you call an EMT that works at a bakery? A “first-yeast responder.”
  12. Why did the paramedic go to the opera? He heard there were high “C’s.”
  13. Why did the EMT get into yoga? He heard it was a great way to “stretch” his skills.
  14. Why don’t paramedics play poker? They hate dealing with hearts.
  15. Why was the paramedic a great detective? He always knew what was “pulsing.”
  16. Why are EMTs great at parties? They know how to keep the “pulse” going.
  17. What do EMTs and DJs have in common? They both know how to drop the “beat.”
  18. Why did the EMT carry a thermometer? He wanted to know how “hot” the situation was.
  19. Why was the paramedic bad at soccer? He kept trying to “resuscitate” the ball.
  20. Why did the EMT take his coffee black? He said it reminded him of his humor during night shifts.
  21. Why did the EMT always carry band-aids? He believed in sticking to the basics.
  22. What do you call an EMT who also bartends? A “shot” giver.
  23. Why are EMTs good at basketball? They know all about “pressure.”
  24. Why was the EMT good at chess? He was always thinking a few moves ahead.
  25. Why did the paramedic get an award? He had a “heart” for his work.
  26. What do you call a funny EMT? A “laugh saver.”
  27. Why don’t EMTs ever get lost? They always follow the “vein.”
  28. What’s an EMT’s favorite type of math? Division – because they always split the “cell.”
  29. Why did the EMT always carry a flashlight? He liked to shine in the “face” of danger.
  30. What’s an EMT’s favorite type of plant? An “AEDen.”
  31. Why did the EMT bring a ladder to the call? To reach new “heights” in saving lives.
  32. Why are EMTs terrible at poker? They always show their “hearts.”
  33. What’s the EMT’s favorite dish? “Resuscita-thai.”
  34. Why do EMTs make great authors? They always have “pressing” stories to tell.
  35. Why did the paramedic always carry a notebook? He wanted to keep “track” of his patients.
  36. Why was the EMT bad at singing? He couldn’t find the right “note.”
  37. Why did the EMT bring a compass to the scene? He was looking for the “point” of injury.
  38. Why do EMTs love camping? They’re always ready for an “emergency” tent.
  39. Why was the EMT always prepared? He had a “pulse” for readiness.
  40. Why did the EMT always carry a mirror? He wanted to “reflect” on his actions.
  41. Why are EMTs good at tic-tac-toe? They always “cross” the line.
  42. Why did the EMT join a band? He heard they needed someone to keep the “beat.”
  43. Why are EMTs good at darts? They never miss the “point.”
  44. What do EMTs and artists have in common? They both appreciate a good “stroke.”
  45. Why was the EMT good at bowling? He could always strike at the “heart” of the pins.
  46. What’s an EMT’s favorite snack? “Pressure-cooked” popcorn.
  47. Why are EMTs good at pool? They’re great at handling “cues.”
  48. What’s an EMT’s favorite type of coffee? A “brew”-saver.
  49. Why did the EMT become a chef? He heard they needed a “lifesaver” in the kitchen.
  50. Why did the EMT go to the beach? He needed a “breath” of fresh air.
  51. What do EMTs and bakers have in common? They both knead to save lives.
  52. Why did the EMT buy a lot of watches? He wanted to have time on his side.
  53. Why did the EMT join the orchestra? He wanted to conduct the “heartbeat.”
  54. What’s an EMT’s favorite holiday? “Pressure” Patrick’s Day.
  55. What do EMTs and mountain climbers have in common? They both ascend to save lives.
  56. Why did the EMT bring a pen to a gun fight? He believed in the power of “sharp” responses.
  57. Why was the EMT good at ping pong? He was great at returning serves – and saving lives.
  58. Why did the EMT keep a diary? He wanted to keep his “vital” thoughts.
  59. What do EMTs and architects have in common? They both know the importance of a good “structure.”
  60. What do you call an EMT who’s a great dancer? A “twist and shout” professional.
  61. Why did the EMT become a teacher? He wanted to give life-saving “lessons.”
  62. Why was the EMT bad at chess? He couldn’t figure out the “checkmate.”
  63. What do EMTs and comedians have in common? They both “crack” people up.
  64. Why did the EMT become a librarian? He wanted to have all the answers at his “fingertips.”
  65. What’s an EMT’s favorite fruit? A “resuscita-peach.”
  66. Why did the EMT go to the circus? He wanted to learn new “tricks” to save lives.
  67. Why did the EMT join a boxing club? He wanted to learn how to “beat” the odds.
  68. What do EMTs and pilots have in common? They both know the importance of a smooth “landing.”
  69. What do you call an EMT at a fashion show? A “model” citizen.
  70. Why did the EMT go to the theater? He wanted to see the “act” of saving lives.
  71. What’s an EMT’s favorite card game? “Go fish” – it’s all about the “catch.”
  72. Why are EMTs good at cooking? They always add a “pinch” of life-saving techniques.
  73. Why did the EMT become a lifeguard? He wanted to make a “splash” in life-saving.
  74. What do EMTs and actors have in common? They both know how to perform under “pressure.”
  75. What’s an EMT’s favorite type of weather? A “resuscita-rain.”
  76. Why did the EMT go to the casino? He was feeling “lucky” – just like his patients.
  77. What do EMTs and firefighters have in common? They both respond to “hot” situations.
  78. What do you call an EMT who’s a great chef? A “taste” saver.
  79. Why did the EMT become a gardener? He wanted to cultivate “life.”
  80. Why did the EMT always carry a stopwatch? He was always racing against time.
  81. What’s an EMT’s favorite type of pie? A “lifesaver” cherry pie.
  82. What do EMTs and musicians have in common? They both know the “rhythm” of life.
  83. Why did the EMT join a dance club? He wanted to learn the “steps” to save lives.
  84. What do EMTs and magicians have in common? They both “pull” things out of hats.
  85. What’s an EMT’s favorite type of pasta? “Lifesaver” spaghetti.
  86. Why did the EMT go to the gym? He wanted to be fit for duty.
  87. What do EMTs and scientists have in common? They both “experiment” to save lives.
  88. Why was the EMT good at baseball? He always aimed for a “home run.”
  89. Why did the EMT always carry a calculator? He loved crunching “numbers.”
  90. What do EMTs and astronauts have in common? They both know how to navigate in “pressure” environments.
  91. What’s an EMT’s favorite type of sandwich? A “breath” saver.
  92. Why did the EMT join a choir? He wanted to hit the “high note.”
  93. Why was the EMT bad at golf? He was always “diving” for the hole.
  94. What’s an EMT’s favorite type of soup? “Vital” vegetable soup.
  95. Why did the EMT always carry a ruler? He loved “measuring” up to the task.
  96. Why did the EMT join a basketball team? He wanted to “score” at saving lives.
  97. Why was the EMT good at skiing? He was great at “sliding” into action.
  98. Why did the EMT always carry a dictionary? He loved finding the “definition” of life.
  99. Why did the EMT become a mechanic? He loved “fixing” things.
  100. What’s an EMT’s favorite type of salad? A “resuscita-radish” salad.
  101. Why did the EMT join a football team? He wanted to make the “touchdown” of saving lives.
  102. Why was the EMT bad at hockey? He kept “icing” the game.
  103. Why did the EMT join a theater group? He wanted to “act” in saving lives.
  104. What do EMTs and chefs have in common? They both “serve” life.
  105. Why did the EMT become a tour guide? He loved “leading” the way.
  106. What do EMTs and gardeners have in common? They both “plant” to save lives.
  107. Why was the EMT good at fencing? He was always on “point.”
  108. What’s an EMT’s favorite type of bread? “Lifesaver” loaf.
  109. Why did the EMT go to the zoo? He wanted to see the “wild” side of life.
  110. Why did the EMT become a weatherman? He loved “forecasting” the future.
  111. What do EMTs and journalists have in common? They both “report” to save lives.
  112. Why was the EMT good at table tennis? He always hit back with a “smash.”
  113. Why did the EMT always carry a compass? He loved finding the “direction” of life.
  114. What do EMTs and sailors have in common? They both know how to “navigate” through tough situations.
  115. Why did the EMT always carry a book? He loved “reading” the signs of life.
  116. What’s an EMT’s favorite type of tea? “Resuscita-tea.”
  117. Why did the EMT join a painting class? He wanted to “draw” attention to saving lives.
  118. Why was the EMT good at karate? He always “kicked” into action.
  119. What do EMTs and teachers have in common? They both “educate” to save lives.
  120. Why did the EMT always carry a notepad? He loved “taking note” of life.
  121. Why did the EMT become a DJ? He loved “mixing” things up.
  122. Why was the EMT good at fishing? He always “hooked” onto life.
  123. What do EMTs and detectives have in common? They both “investigate” to save lives.
  124. Why did the EMT always carry a calculator? He loved “adding” to life.
  125. What do EMTs and mechanics have in common? They both “fix” to save lives.
  126. Why did the EMT always carry a camera? He loved “capturing” the moment.
  127. Why did the EMT become a plumber? He loved “plunging” into action.
  128. What do EMTs and photographers have in common? They both “focus” to save lives.
  129. Why did the EMT always carry a map? He loved “finding” his way to life.
  130. Why did the EMT become an artist? He loved “painting” a better future.
  131. What do EMTs and explorers have in common? They both “discover” to save lives.
  132. Why did the EMT always carry a compass? He loved “pointing” in the direction of life.
  133. Why did the EMT become a musician? He loved “composing” the symphony of life.
  134. What do EMTs and bakers have in common? They both “bake” to save lives.
  135. Why did the EMT always carry a watch? He loved “timing” his actions.
  136. Why did the EMT become a dancer? He loved “moving” to the rhythm of life.
  137. What do EMTs and pilots have in common? They both “fly” to save lives.
  138. Why did the EMT always carry a protractor? He loved “measuring” the arc of life.
  139. Why did the EMT become a writer? He loved “penning” the story of life.
  140. What do EMTs and builders have in common? They both “construct” to save lives.
  141. Why did the EMT always carry a magnifying glass? He loved “looking closer” at life.

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