49 christmas gift jokes
- Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim!
- What’s a snowman’s favorite Christmas present? A new freezer.
- Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his sleigh in a no-parking zone.
- Why didn’t the ornament go to the Christmas party? It didn’t want to hang around!
- What do you call a cat on Christmas morning? Santa Claws!
- Why did the gingerbread man go to therapy? He had crummy self-esteem.
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
- Why don’t Christmas trees knit? They always drop their needles.
- What did the Christmas candle say to the other? “Don’t birthdays burn you out?”
- Why do Christmas trees make terrible sewers? They keep dropping their needles.
- Why didn’t the Christmas gift go to school? Because it was already present.
- Why did the Christmas cookie go to the doctor? It felt a little crumby.
- What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas carol? Silent Night.
- Why did Santa bring 22 reindeer to the BBQ? Because at any time, if you add more – it’s too deer!
- Why did the Christmas bell go to school? Because it wanted to get a little ‘jingling’ education.
- How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas turkey? On the dark side!
- What do you call a reindeer who tells jokes? Comet-dian!
- Why did the scarecrow win the Christmas gift? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- Why did the snowman ask for a divorce? His wife was a real flake.
- Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? Because he had low “elf” esteem.
- What do you call a Christmas song parody? A Christmas carol-oke.
- Why didn’t the Christmas lights go to school? Because they were already too bright.
- Why did Santa go to music school? So he could improve his “wrap” skills.
- What do you get if you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite!
- Why did the Christmas cracker go to the doctor? It had a bad “joke” condition!
- What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper!
- Why did the ornament go to school? It wanted to be a little brighter!
- Why was the Christmas tree bad at knitting? It kept losing its needles.
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack abs? An “abdominal” snowman.
- What does a gingerbread man use to fix his house? Icing and gumdrops!
- Why did Santa start gardening? He wanted to hoe, hoe, hoe.
- What do you call a bankrupt Santa? Saint Nickel-less.
- Why did the snowman want to leave the party? He was melting away!
- What do sheep say to each other at Christmastime? Merry Christmas to ewe!
- Why don’t Christmas trees use computers? They’re afraid of Windows.
- What do you call a snowman with a temper? A slushy!
- What do you call a snowman party? A snowball!
- Why was the turkey at the Christmas party so proud? Because it was stuffed.
- What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? RUDE-olph.
- What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk? Jingle smells!
- How does Christmas Day end? With the letter ‘Y’.
- What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament? “Aren’t you tired of hanging around?”
- Why did Santa bring a ladder to the pub? He heard the drinks were on the house.
- What do you call an old snowman? Water.
- What do you call a reindeer with no eyes? No idea.
- Why did the Christmas gift go to jail? It was caught shoplifting.
- What do you call a snowman with a detective hat? An investigator.
- Why did Santa’s helper see the psychiatrist? He had tinsel-itis.
- Why did Santa Claus take his Christmas tree to the barber? It needed a trim.