150 candle jokes
- Why don’t candles ever go to school? Because they’re always burning the midnight oil.
- Why was the candle talking to the match? Because it found its perfect match.
- What do you call a candle in armor? A knight light.
- Why was the candle feeling stressed? It was under too much wick pressure.
- Why don’t candles make good detectives? Because they always burn their leads.
- What did one candle say to the other? “You’re going out tonight, aren’t you?”
- Why did the candle get a penalty? For illegal wick-ening.
- How do candles say sorry? They “wick” up for it.
- What’s a candle’s favorite type of humor? Burnt jokes.
- Why are candles terrible at hide and seek? Because they always get lit.
- Why was the candle always working? Because it didn’t know how to put its light off.
- Why did the candle never stop talking? It just kept going on and waxing.
- Why did the candle go to the party? To lighten up the mood.
- Why don’t candles fight? They know how to keep their wick under control.
- Why did the candle stick to its day job? It didn’t want to burn out.
- Why did the candle go to therapy? It felt burnt out.
- What did the candle say to the fire extinguisher? “You’re a wet blanket.”
- What do you call a smart candle? Bright and wick-ed.
- Why was the candle always in trouble? It had a fiery temper.
- How do candles write secret messages? In Morse Code, but it’s all dots and no dashes.
- Why did the candle go to the doctor? It was feeling a little light-headed.
- What did the birthday cake say to the candle? “You’re the light of the party!”
- Why did the candle start meditating? It wanted to find its inner light.
- How do candles communicate? They burn signals.
- Why was the candle so popular? It was always the life of the party.
- What did the candle say to the moth? “I know I’m attractive, but this relationship is too fiery for me!”
- What did the candle say to its wax? “Don’t drip out on me now!”
- What’s a candle’s favorite day of the week? Wicks-end.
- Why did the candle never procrastinate? It knew time was burning.
- How does a candle propose? “Will you light up my life forever?”
- Why was the candle always broke? It kept burning through cash.
- Why was the candle so fit? It always worked out with light weights.
- Why did the candle never get lost? It always followed the light.
- What’s a candle’s favorite exercise? The wick-lift.
- Why did the candle make a terrible actor? It always melted under pressure.
- What’s a candle’s favorite part of a song? The light notes.
- What did the candle say to the light bulb? “I was lighting up rooms before it was cool.”
- Why did the candle refuse the promotion? It didn’t want to get burnt out.
- What does a candle do on its birthday? It blows itself out.
- What do you call a candle that sings? A wax lyrical.
- Why don’t candles ever go camping? They’re afraid of burning the tent down.
- What’s a candle’s favorite food? Light snacks.
- How does a candle say goodbye? It burns out.
- Why was the candle a great musician? It always played by ear(wick).
- Why did the candle lose the race? It burnt out before the finish line.
- What do you call a group of musical candles? A wax band.
- Why was the candle a bad student? It always burned its homework.
- What do you call a candle in a suit? Dressed to the nines, but still melts under pressure.
- Why was the candle a poor investment? It’s a total burn.
- What does a candle do after a breakup? It burns all the love letters.
- Why did the candle join the circus? It loved the spotlight.
- What do you call a candle that tells time? A wick-watch.
- What did the candle say to the sun? “You’re my biggest competition.”
- Why did the candle go to the concert? To get lit.
- What do you call a confused candle? Disoriented and lit.
- Why was the candle the best comedian? Its jokes were fire.
- What do you call a fashionable candle? A wick in vogue.
- Why did the candle become a baker? It loved the heat of the oven.
- Why was the candle so bad at soccer? It kept getting a red card for flaring.
- What’s a candle’s favorite city? Candle-ary (Calgary).
- Why was the candle so romantic? It knew how to set the mood lighting.
- Why did the candle go to the gym? To burn off some wax.
- What’s a candle’s favorite type of music? Light rock.
- Why did the candle refuse to play cards? It was afraid of burning the deck.
- What’s a candle’s favorite type of car? A Volkswagen Light.
- Why was the candle great at baseball? It always had a great pitch (of black soot).
- What do you call a candle that’s finished burning? All burnt out.
- Why don’t candles make good secret agents? They’re always seen in the spotlight.
- What do you call a baby candle? A little light.
- Why do candles never win poker? They always fold under the heat.
- Why did the candle get kicked out of the choir? It couldn’t hold a note, just a flame.
- Why don’t candles ever get cold? They always have a warm glow.
- What’s a candle’s favorite dance move? The flamenco.
- Why did the candle join the band? It wanted to be in the limelight.
- Why do candles make terrible chefs? They melt under the heat of the kitchen.
- What’s a candle’s favorite film genre? Light-hearted comedy.
- Why did the candle visit the beach? It wanted to glow in the sun.
- Why was the candle a great gardener? It knew when to sow and when to reap.
- Why did the candle get a job in construction? It wanted to bring light to the project.
- Why did the candle go to the bar? To have a light beer.
- Why was the candle so good at yoga? It could hold a pose even when the heat was turned up.
- Why was the candle a great writer? Its ideas were always bright.
- Why did the candle go to the football match? It was a fan of the Sparks.
- What’s a candle’s favorite type of cake? A light sponge.
- Why did the candle date the lamp? It was attracted to its brightness.
- What did the candle say to the lighthouse? “You’re a beacon of hope.”
- What do you call a grumpy candle? A hot head.
- Why did the candle join the police force? It wanted to shed light on the truth.
- Why did the candle start a diary? It wanted to keep the flame of memories alive.
- What’s a candle’s favorite animal? The firefly.
- Why did the candle join the orchestra? It wanted to be in the limelight.
- Why did the candle go to the zoo? It wanted to see the fireflies.
- Why did the candle join the army? It wanted to hold the torch of honor.
- Why was the candle a good chess player? It could see the next move even in the dark.
- Why did the candle become a lifeguard? It loved to glow by the pool.
- What’s a candle’s favorite type of joke? A bright one-liner.
- Why did the candle become a journalist? It wanted to shed light on stories.
- What did the candle say to the wind? “You’re blowing me away.”
- Why don’t candles ever quit? They burn with passion.
- What did the candle say to the firecracker? “You’re a blast.”
- Why was the candle a terrible painter? It always drew light figures.
- Why did the candle open a bakery? It loved the scent of freshly baked bread.
- Why did the candle go to a comedy show? It wanted a good laugh.
- Why did the candle start a podcast? It wanted to spread the light of knowledge.
- Why did the candle join the space mission? It wanted to be a star.
- What do you call a scared candle? Terrified and lit.
- Why did the candle join the spelling bee? It knew how to spell ‘light’.
- Why did the candle start a band? It wanted to set the stage on fire.
- What did the candle say to the flashlight? “I got it from my great-great-grandparents.”
- Why did the candle go shopping? It needed a new wick.
- Why did the candle start a blog? It wanted to share its burning thoughts.
- What do you call a tired candle? Burnt out and snoozing.
- Why did the candle go to the amusement park? It loved the Ferris wheel’s lights.
- Why did the candle join the debate team? It was good at making bright arguments.
- What did the candle say to the lantern? “You light up my world.”
- Why did the candle go to the spa? It needed to wax off.
- Why did the candle become a director? It had a burning desire for cinema.
- Why did the candle go to the casino? It was on a hot streak.
- Why did the candle go to the fashion show? It loved the runway lights.
- What do you call a candle’s autobiography? “The Light of My Life.”
- Why did the candle start a travel blog? It wanted to see the world’s brightest spots.
- Why was the candle great at golf? It had a great swing and was always on fire.
- Why was the candle a terrible runner? It was always burning its soles.
- Why did the candle refuse to join the race? It didn’t want to burn out too fast.
- Why did the candle join the soccer team? It wanted to carry the torch of victory.
- What do you call a candle that’s a great swimmer? A light float.
- Why did the candle join a rock band? It was drawn to the stage lights.
- Why was the candle great at solving puzzles? It could always find a light in the darkness.
- Why did the candle get a job at the library? It wanted to bring light to great stories.
- Why did the candle become a photographer? It had an eye for light and shadow.
- What do you call a fitness enthusiast candle? Burn fit and lit.
- Why was the candle a great salesperson? It knew how to highlight the best features.
- Why did the candle become an electrician? It was fascinated by light and circuits.
- What did the candle say to the power outage? “I got this.”
- Why did the candle become a coach? It loved to ignite passion in others.
- Why did the candle start a motivational speaking career? It wanted to light up people’s lives.
- What do you call a candle that loves to read? Bookish and bright.
- Why did the candle become a sailor? It wanted to navigate by the stars’ light.
- What do you call a candle that’s a great dancer? Light-footed and graceful.
- Why was the candle a great mathematician? It understood the angles of light and shadow.
- Why did the candle become an architect? It wanted to design houses with great natural light.
- Why did the candle go to the opera? It loved the spotlight.
- Why was the candle a great leader? It knew how to guide in the darkest times.
- Why did the candle start a cooking show? It loved to set the kitchen on fire.
- Why was the candle great at investments? It had a bright outlook on stocks.
- Why did the candle become a poet? It was fascinated by the light of the moon.
- Why did the candle go to the museum? It loved the soft gallery lights.
- What do you call a candle that loves fashion? A style light-con.
- Why did the candle become a filmmaker? It had a passion for dramatic lighting.
- Why was the candle a great friend? It was always there to light up your day.