50 botany jokes
- Why don’t trees ever play hide and seek? Because they always leaf their spot.
- What did the flower say after it told a joke? I was just pollen your leg!
- Why was the cactus always picked last for the team? He was a bit of a prick.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- Why did the gardener plant lightbulbs? He wanted to grow a power plant.
- What do you call an arrogant flower? A bloomin’ idiot.
- What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
- What do trees drink at a party? Root beer.
- Why was the carrot blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- How do trees access the internet? They log in.
- Why did the fungi leave the party? There wasn’t mushroom.
- What do you call a nervous plant? A jitterbug.
- Why are trees such good storytellers? They have a lot of bark and no bite.
- What’s a tree’s favorite dating app? Timber.
- Why was the corn embarrassed? Because it heard the popcorn crackling.
- Why did the cucumber blush? It saw the gardener’s hoe.
- What do you call a flower that drives a boat? A skipper.
- Why was the flower on a bike? It was a petal pusher.
- What does a tree do when it’s ready to go home? It leaves.
- Why did the gardener get a ticket? He got caught with a dirty hoe.
- Why are plants bad at math? They find it hard to get to the root of the problem.
- What do you call a well-dressed lion? A dandy-lion.
- What’s a gardener’s favorite novel? War and Peas.
- How do you know that carrots are good at karaoke? They always beet the competition.
- What’s a gardener’s favorite type of music? Rock and Pollen.
- Why are flowers so lazy? They always lay in beds.
- Why don’t some plants go to heaven? Because they have thorny pasts.
- What do you call a plant that hates losing? A sore bloomer.
- Why was the gardener so content? Because he peas in a pod.
- What’s the most musical part of a plant? The bell pepper.
- Why did the vine break up with the pumpkin? He was too gourd for her.
- Why was the fruit so proud? It was a little grape.
- What did the tree wear to the pool party? Swimming trunks.
- Why do trees hate tests? They get stumped by the questions.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
- What do you call a ticklish plant? A feather fern.
- What do trees do when they’re feeling lonely? They branch out.
- What do you call a country where the people only grow vegetables? A plantocracy.
- Why don’t trees get lost? Because of their bark code.
- What do you call a trendy flower? A fashion bud.
- Why did the lettuce go to the party? It was a salad mixer.
- What’s a flower’s favorite social media platform? Plantrest.
- What do you call a plant that’s a knight? Sir Plant.
- Why don’t roses ever get lost? Because of their petals’ GPS (Garden Positioning System).
- How do plants throw a party? They plant it.
- What is a tree’s favorite school subject? Geometry.
- What’s a tree’s least favorite month? Sep-timber!
- Why are trees good at knitting? Because they’re great at purling.
- What did the tree wear to the Oscars? A bark tuxedo.
- Why are flowers always driving so fast? They put the petal to the metal.