70 san francisco jokes

  1. Why don’t people in San Francisco ever play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re tilted 45 degrees!
  2. Why did the programmer move to San Francisco? He heard it was a great place to debug.
  3. How do you describe San Francisco weather to someone? Layer it on.
  4. What do you call a cat living in San Francisco? A purr-sisco resident.
  5. Why are houses in San Francisco the best listeners? Because they’re always leaning in.
  6. Why do birds in San Francisco always seem lost? Because even they can’t figure out the one-way streets.
  7. Why did the earthquake break up with San Francisco? It said things were getting too shaky.
  8. What do you call a werewolf in San Francisco? A Bay Area Biter.
  9. Why did the hipster burn his tongue in San Francisco? Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.
  10. Why was the computer cold in San Francisco? It left its Windows open.
  11. Why don’t secrets exist in San Francisco? Because even the walls have ears!
  12. Why did the coder get lost in San Francisco? He took the wrong route on the server.
  13. How do San Franciscans stay in shape? By running up their rent bills.
  14. Why did the fish move to San Francisco? It wanted to live in the Bay area.
  15. Why did the programmer from San Francisco go broke? Because he used up all his cache.
  16. Why is San Francisco the rumpled shirt of cities? It never seems to iron out its hills.
  17. Why was the football team in San Francisco so cool? They had a lot of fans.
  18. What’s the difference between San Francisco and a magic wand? One has spells of fog; the other has fog of spells.
  19. Why do vampires love San Francisco? Because they’re suckers for the nightlife.
  20. Why did the techie sleep on the streets of San Francisco? He was trying to find a new startup idea.
  21. How do you know the toothbrush was invented in San Francisco? Anywhere else, it would have been a teethbrush.
  22. Why don’t they play poker in San Francisco? Too many cheetahs on the Silicon Valley.
  23. Why did the loaf of bread move to San Francisco? It wanted to be a sourdough.
  24. Why are the dogs in San Francisco so tech-savvy? Because every park is a “bark-code”.
  25. Why don’t zombies like San Francisco? Too many brainiacs.
  26. Why did the robot go to San Francisco? It heard about the Silicon rush.
  27. How does San Francisco cut its pizza? With Little Scissors.
  28. Why did the cloud stay in San Francisco? It couldn’t find the exit.
  29. Why did the superhero move to San Francisco? To save on a cape-town.
  30. Why did the computer go to San Francisco? To meet its Apple parents.
  31. What do you call a fast-food restaurant in San Francisco? Uber Eats.
  32. Why did the tech CEO go fishing in San Francisco? He was looking for a bigger byte.
  33. Why was the math book sad in San Francisco? Because it had too many problems.
  34. Why did the can crusher quit his job in San Francisco? Because it was soda pressing.
  35. What do you call an artist in San Francisco? A sketchy character.
  36. How do you know your dog is a true San Franciscan? When it refuses to fetch anything but organic, gluten-free sticks.
  37. Why did the bike fall over in San Francisco? Because it was two-tired from the hills.
  38. What’s San Francisco’s favorite exercise? Cable row.
  39. What’s the most popular perfume in San Francisco? Eau de Tech Start-up.
  40. Why are people in San Francisco always hungry? Because they live on a diet of apps.
  41. Why did the orange stop rolling down the San Francisco hill? It ran out of juice!
  42. Why did the scarecrow win an award in San Francisco? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  43. Why did the vegan move to San Francisco? He heard the tofu there was on another level.
  44. Why did the phone wear glasses in San Francisco? It lost all its contacts.
  45. Why did the laptop get glasses in San Francisco? It had bad Windows.
  46. How do you know when a San Franciscan is really cold? When they start wearing their second Patagonia jacket.
  47. What do you call a group of musical whales in San Francisco Bay? An orca-stra.
  48. Why was the San Francisco football player so quiet? Because he didn’t want to commit a sound violation.
  49. Why did the seaweed blush in San Francisco? Because it saw the bay’s bottom.
  50. What do you call a wolf who does magic tricks in San Francisco? A hound-ini.
  51. How did the tech bro burn his ear in San Francisco? He answered the iron while it was still hot.
  52. Why did the tech CEO bring a ladder to San Francisco? To reach the cloud.
  53. How do you know you’ve met a San Francisco hipster? They’ll let you know before you even ask.
  54. Why do San Francisco coders have the best suntans? They always have a lot of screen time.
  55. Why did the robot break up with his girlfriend in San Francisco? He said he needed space.
  56. Why did the tomato turn red in San Francisco? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  57. Why do coders in San Francisco never get sunburned? They always stay in the shade (syntax).
  58. What do you call a tech CEO who can play the piano? An app-iano-ist.
  59. Why did the scarecrow become a successful tech CEO in San Francisco? Because he was a pro at outstanding in the field.
  60. Why did the barista file a police report in San Francisco? Because he got mugged.
  61. Why did the bicycle fall over on the Golden Gate Bridge? It was two-tired.
  62. Why don’t programmers in San Francisco need glasses? Because they can C#.
  63. What do you call a tech-savvy lemon in San Francisco? A sour-geek fruit.
  64. Why don’t sharks attack tech CEOs in San Francisco? Professional courtesy.
  65. Why was the San Francisco computer cold? It left its Windows open.
  66. What’s the tallest building in San Francisco? The library, because it has the most stories.
  67. Why do we tell actors to break a leg in San Francisco? Because every play has a cast.
  68. Why don’t people trust stairs in San Francisco? Because they’re always up to something.
  69. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants to San Francisco? In case he got a hole in one.
  70. Why do San Franciscans only use roundabouts? Because they can’t handle the straight and narrow.

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